𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐕𝐄 ━━ 𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐳𝐳𝐨

THIRTY ONE | breaking down

warning: contains one curse word and hints of depression

Tony clamps a hand over her shoulder. "You did good."

"For once," Gibbs cracks a smile, "DiNozzo's right."

"I thought I'd die before I ever —"

"Kate!"

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Tony is the first one to walk out of the elevator, followed by McGee. Then lastly, me.

"Found Ari's sniper's nest, boss. Roof of an abandoned office building to the east." Somehow, Tony is able to open his mouth without sobbing.

McGee pulls out an evidence bag. "Didn't police his brass. Lapua .308s."

"Lapua's match-grade sniper ammo." Gibbs takes over the bag. "You guys find any bullets?"

"None that match the casings." Tony rubs the tip of his brow, an anxious habit he's picked up through the years as an NCIS agent.

"But we left three guys on the roof searching." McGee quickly adds in case Gibbs sends us back.

Gibbs continues to stand by the window, not uttering a word.

"McGee and I will go back to the roof, boss."

From the corner of my eye, I feel Tony and McGee just watching me. As if I'm a fragile flower that could crumble any second.

"Tony."

He prepares to be head slapped, but it never comes.

"You're soaking wet." Gibbs examines Tony's stature. "Go put some dry clothes on."

The rain outside hasn't stopped since this morning. It's as if the city knew about the loss we faced and was mourning with us.

"Ari's rooftop wasn't much higher than ours." That name brings a bitter, bile-like taste to the mouth. "Roof lines behind us were lower. There's no telling how far a full metal jacket would go after killing Kate."

Even those last words are hard to say. As if ignoring the fact that she's dead may bring her back.

McGee lowers his voice. "How does he know it's a full metal jacket?"

"Didn't you see Kate?" Tony flips through his notes, reviewing as many times as possible. "Her head was intact."

"So. . ." He gulps. "She didn't look bad?"

That seems to rile Tony up from his tense state. "No. No, not at all, Probie."

I silently reach a hand to his arm, trying to calm him down.

"In fact, a little mortuary putty right here. . ." Tony points to McGee's forehead, "and she'll be good as new."

"Tony. . ." McGee begs him to stop.

But he isn't even close to stopping. "Of course, she was having a bad hair day, though, right back here. 'Cause a full metal jacket will put a hole the size of a grapefruit right back there."

"C-Could I use the restroom?"

It takes everything inside of me to open my mouth without breaking down in front of them.

The three men look in my direction, each of their eyes filled with the pain and sorrow brought upon by Kate's sudden death.

"Sure." Gibbs nods his head.

I drop my things off at my desk and storm down to the bathroom on Abby's level. As soon as I walk in, I lock the door behind me, not wanting to be disturbed.