𝐒𝐔𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄 | 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐀 𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐁𝐈𝐎 ✓

EIGHTEEN 🥀

Mattia | Mia

"I feel embarrassed."

"Why?"

"I had a panic attack last night, and you heard everything."

"Mattia, panic attacks are normal. I sometimes have them."

"I have them every now and then, it's quite annoying."

"Panic attacks are something else...it's like you're dying but alive."

"I miss my mother."

"I had a dream about her last night..."

"Tell me about it."

"I tried killing myself..but before I jumped off the building, I felt a familiar hand on my shoulder stopping me...I turned around and saw my mother...."

"She looked so beautiful....in her white dress....she looked like an angel....an angel sent from above."

"Mattia...."

"I bet your mother was such a beautiful and white hearted woman."

"She'd love you."

"That-"

"I fucking miss her...."

"Why'd she have to go....just like that..."

"We could've ran away from my monster of a dad! We could've started a new fucking life without him!"

"God Mia....I wanna join her...so fucking badly."

"No Mattia...that dream was a sign, she wants you living, She wants you to be alive, so she could always look over you."

"Have you ever lost someone? To suicide?"

"Y-Yes...."

"Who was it?"

"My cousin."

"Will you tell me about it?"

"Sure...."

"His name was Cole....he killed himself about two years ago."

"Why'd he do it?"

"He was bullied. Him and his family moved out of town, because of his fathers work. They were quite poor and once his father found a proper stable job, it was required for them to move, it was a hard goodbye but nothing was harder than his goodbye."

"Just days before he uhm...killed him self, we were chatting on the phone, we planned to hang out since they were coming back to town for a visit. It was right before Christmas break."

"When we were on the phone, I just had a feeling he wasn't happy, he never told me about his problems and I really fucking wish he did, god, I would've helped him."

"So I asked him, I asked him what was wrong but he said nothing was, I then rushed forward and asked him if he ever thought about hurting himself, I just knew he wasn't happy, with himself and the people that surrounded him. He said he was fine, and I was dumb enough to believe him."

"And then...a few days later, one exact day before they were planned to come back...I got call during school from my mother...."

"Cole had committed suicide."

"He's in a better place."

"I'm sorry Mia...I don't know what to say..."

"His death affected us all."

"So please Mattia....I can't lose you too."

"You won't."

"I promise."

"I uhm...I'm about to b-break down..I'll call you later."

-beep-