The last few weeks were like hell. I couldn't pass one day without thinking of the purple haired male. His smile, I missed it but from day to day I forgot how it looks like. I never had a mental breakdown I was always the happy, careless person who never stopped smiling, but since Shinso started avoiding me smiling got way harder. Of course my friends realised that something was going on but I kept telling that I was stressed because of school. Everyday after school I headed back to the dorm and sat in the corner of my room, my arms around my knees and my whole body shaking. The first times I tried not to cry but after all this time I just had to cry, loud sobs escaping my mouth I cried myself to sleep. I wanted him, so badly that it started to hurt. I wasn't used to this feeling and I couldn't deal the pain so I scratched my neck causing my blood streaming down my back. All I wanted was to see him, his hair, eyes, mouth, nose, his smirk even his dark eye bags. With shaking hands I took my phone and wrote:
💜 Shinso 💜
Why are you avoiding me,
did I do something wrong?
Shin please tell me. Please
No you didn't I just.
I just need some time
He responded, he responded! It made me so happy that I jumped in the air, but I could tell that something is wrong. People normally did not need five months to calm down. About what? Did I do something that made him upset? Why do I even care? Yeah he looks cute but that's all, right? I can't fall for him. Why does love to be so hard? Why can't it just be like in these cheesy romance movies? I should talk to him, I can't stand it anymore. I can do it.
I know it isn't...
So please tell me.
Is it because of me?
Do you hate me now?
I'm sorry for being so
messy, weird, loud,
dumb and emotional.
But please talk to me,
I can not handle it.
Sorry
Maybe that was really girly but I didn't care about it much. I just wanted to hear his voice again. I wanted to fell his soft skin against mine. I wanted him. I know that it may sound selfish but I think. No I know that I'm in love with him. After a few minutes I walked out of my dorm and headed nervously towards Shinso's room. As I reached his place I raised my hand and knocked.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
"Shinso?"
°°°°°°°°°°°
This chapter is pretty short but I have to study for maths if I don't want to fail my exam. (I know it's not gonna work but I have to stay positive!)
🏳️🌈
YOU ARE READING
your smile, i missed it - ShinKami
FanfictionThis fan fiction is the result of a boring math class. Let's just say I don't have a plan what to write. So it's pretty messy. But who cares.
