Through The Pain

13 | Nanny

Nathan

I was expecting to see her when I opened that door but I was still stunned when I saw her standing in front of my house.

She's always been stunning in my eyes but every time I see her I can't help but adore her more.

It makes me want to take her inside my house and keep her, make her my wife and mother of my daughters.

I looked at her from head stopping for a while in her gorgeous face but then when my eyes landed on her feet that were wearing those heels, I snapped back to the realization that she cannot be mine.

The most beautiful angel I've ever seen in my life cannot be mine.

It made my mood darken.

It became worse when I saw how good she looked with my daughters. She fits with them as if she is made for them and me.

She cannot be mine and she cannot be my daughters' mother even how badly I wanted her to.

My day started bad then everything went bad.

I wanted to see her every time, I wanted her around me yet she came late. Though I know she came to send my daughters to school, it doesn't help to brighten my mood.

I want to hear her angelic voice yet she rarely talks to me all day. She only speaks when she talks to.

I am not in the mood for anything. Not even for food but then I noticed how pale she looks and I was so angry at myself for forgetting that she hadn't eaten anything as well. The worst part is that I blamed her for that.

So I took her to eat in a restaurant, I ordered food for her, yet she barely touched it.

"I don't think she is in good shape. You can wait until tomorrow to talk to her."

I heard the voice of my eldest daughter as I passed by their bedroom. I haven't seen them since this morning so I decided to drop by.

I knocked on the door and opened it.

I found them sitting on their bed with the telephone in between them.

"Hey,"

"Hi, daddy!"

They both jumped off their feet to hug me.

I squeezed them both in my arms.

"So, how was school?" I asked, which I rarely do. Internally, I just wanted to know how they think of Catherine. They would tell me if they don't like her for sure.

"I made new friends." Aenid happily said.

Then I looked at Faye.

"She is shy," Aenid said, talking about Faye.

I smiled because I know that Faye is always the shy one.

I struggled to say words. I'm the worst with that. I know I am not the kind of father that always has an answer to my daughter's questions, nonetheless, I love my daughters more than myself.

When it comes to times like this, I hope that they have a mother or at least a mother figure to nurture them, to give them wisdom and righteousness, to understand and listen to them, to give them motherly love.

To give them what a father cannot give.

But unfortunately, I cannot give them the mother that they need.

I only have two women in mind that could fit as their mother, but it is impossible to have them.

"So, what's the issue with the phone?" I asked, looking at the telephone that sits on the bed.