Through The Pain

14 | Support Group

Cat

It is finally Saturday, meaning I don't have to go to work. I love my job, I love working but it has been too exhausting these past weeks and my new boss has a great contribution to it. But no matter how exhausting it is, I found myself enjoying being around my new boss. It was like I could bear the pain as long as I was standing beside or in front of him. And I especially enjoy watching him work, with all those seriousness in his face except for when he glares or scowls at me.

And I know this is not right because he is my boss, he is cold and harsh towards me and he is or was married with two daughters. I can count a lot of reasons why I should not fantasize about my Boss and that includes my illness. I do not think I should burden anyone with my condition. That is just so unfair to them.

Then I thought, maybe it is alright as long as my boss or his wife will not find out about it. Oh, right! Aenid said that they don't have a mother. But does that mean my boss doesn't have a wife? Up until now, I haven't dared to inquire what she meant by 'they don't have a mother.'

This is just an infatuation. It's not as if I would like to be in a relationship with my boss. That is impossible. I tried to convince myself.

A couple of days ago, my boss told me to take his daughters to school and then pick them up after. Once was alright but then he said that his daughters liked me and that I should be doing it until he found a Nanny. And it's been one week, he hasn't found a Nanny.

I was surprised when he said that his daughters like me though I like them as well.

Throughout the week, that is my routine. Instead of going to work first thing in the morning, I am picked up by a driver to take the kids to school. Then I will leave work one hour earlier than everyone to pick them up. My boss said that I don't have to go to work earlier or work overtime. Which I thought was kind of considerate of him knowing I am doing something for him that is definitely out of my job description.

Anyways, I enjoy the company of his daughters. And I am afraid that I am getting more and more attached to them.

After picking them up, I will stay a couple of minutes with them to talk about school and Faye's school anxiety until before I know that my boss is coming home. I don't want him to see me inside his house though I know that he is aware that his daughters were insisting that I stay with them for a couple of minutes.

I know that he visits and tucks them at night and that he is asking them about what they did the whole day and I thought that it was so sweet of him. I have a feeling that Aenid and Faye were talking about me to him.

Yesterday, Aenid told me that their father promised to take them to an amusement park. I hoped that he fulfilled his promise because I would feel bad for the kids if he didn't. And I will be angry at him, though I will not show it to him.

Aenid and Faye insist that I come with them and that they would love it if I could but unfortunately, I cannot. It would be awkward and not right if I tagged along with them. It is a family outing and I am an outcast.

And besides, I have somewhere to be today. After a couple of months of trying to convince me, Alvin finally succeeded. And now, here I am, sitting on a red stool in front of seven more women. We were sitting in a circle.

Alvin told me that I needed this because my condition can be lonely and depressing. I have to remain socially inclined and be around people. Not that I am not, I mean, unlike others who have the same condition as mine, I still have my job. My job keeps me busy and surrounded by different kinds of people.

Yes, it is exhausting but at least I am not lonely. I have Grace, Aunt Molly, and him. And now, my Boss's daughters are keeping me occupied. Not to mention, my boss has been keeping me preoccupied as well.