Creative Writing

You Know Who You Are

I'm not saying I hate people... but I do. Well, to phrase it nicer, I hate most people, or at least one tiny niche that they have, that niche which sets off a fire in the deepest pit of my soul that can make me look at a person in the eyes and tell them, "Rot." There's that one guy who talks just slow enough that you can mostly understand him but fast enough that you never get to interject your own thoughts. He's talking about one subject, and unless you feel like completely interrupting him, you keep your thought to yourself only for the conversation to be on a completely different topic five seconds later, and you must sit there never saying what you thought, if you're lucky enough to remember it in the first place.

Then, there's the guy who never cracks a good murder joke. Now, it is possible to crack a good murder joke. It takes finesse, the right timing, crowd, supposed killer, and supposed victim, sometimes a supposed method as well. However, there's that one guy that thinks he can joke about murder and it just... always be funny, and it's not, and I makes him sound like a psychopath in a room full of psychopaths.

Oh, and let us never forget the guy who KNOWS he's right. Y'know, that guy who thinks he's right on everything? It's even worse if he's actually a very smart guy, because then on issues in which both sides can be debated, he's convinced he's right. Usually he's stuck up, a generic asshole, a good person to make the murder jokes about, because odds are, everyone present is going to think, "Mood."

There's so many more. The guy who is just ALWAYS THERE, not necessarily a third wheel, but not a stalker. He's just... seemingly... always there.

And then there's the person who talks so slow they never get to their point, so you can't interrupt them for the exact opposite reason of the first type of person.

There's the person who mispronounces EVERY SINGLE WORD it seems.

So yeah... if you have one of these traits, I apologize, but I don't. These niches will drive me mad, and at the end of a day of us hanging out, I will crawl into my Hobbit Hole of a bed and binge watch whatever I'm in the mood for, because, yeah, I hate most people.