TᕼE ᗰOᑎᔕTEᖇ IᑎᔕIᗪE [1]

chapter titles are hard, dudes. im also dumb

everyone has been training for the sports festival, and while i myself have stepped up my training regime, i couldn't help but be plagued by my doubts.

'i shouldn't be in the festival at all. i'll only hurt people. i can't hurt anyone again. not again. then they'll really hate me, and i'll have to drop out, and i won't be able to keep my promise to mom. oh god,' i thought, stopping my movements as i started panicking internally.

it wasn't until one day, after school, that i had decided to approach my teacher.

"u-um, aizawa-sensei?" i nervously asked, and he looked up at me from where he was on the floor.

"what is it, sasaki?"

i gulped, mentally preparing myself for what i was about to say.

"i'd l-like to exempt from the sports festival, sensei."

he had been inching towards the door in his sleeping bag, but he stopped dead at that.

"what are you talking about?" i shook slightly at the cold tone he was using, and my head lowered subconsciously, being so used to being submissive and the one who ultimately felt guilty in a situation.

"i-i'd like to-"

"i heard you fine and clear, what i'm wondering is why the hell you even started thinking about it," he cut me off, snapping at me, and i bit my quivering lip at the subtle hostility. i couldn't have a meltdown here, i didn't need to seem like even more of a disappointment than i already knew i was.

"i-i c-could hurt people..." i said, my voice getting smaller as i said that. he sighed in frustration, obviously not understanding.

"look, kid, that's gonna happen in every aspect of life, whether you want it to or not. that's also kind of the point of the festival in the first place, to win at whatever cost. i can't just let you get out of the festival because you're afraid of hurting your friends's feelings," he scolded, and i felt my shoulders start to hunch as i curled in further on myself.

"i-i'm not friends with anyone in the class, sensei... i-i really will end up hurting th-them if i participate. pl-please don't make me, please don't..." i murmured, the evidence of my feelings welling up in my face.

~~~

aizawa looked at his student. she hadn't been the first student to ever have anxiety over hurting other people with their quirk, because that was honestly quite common in a lot of people. but what he didn't get was just how terrified she seemed to be of hurting others. she was looking at the ground with her head hung, her shoulders curled in on herself as as was hunched over slightly, and her silver hair had fallen around her face to hide it from him.

she was shaking, a clear sign of her terror. at first, it was subtle enough to where a normal person wouldn't notice; but he was trained to pick up on the most subtle of things. as they continued talking, her shaking had gotten even more apparent, making him feel the slightest bit of worry for her.

"why don't you want to participate, sasaki? i want a straight answer this time," he stated, leaving no room for question.

she was still shaking as she tried to straighten herself, keeping her eyes looking to the ground, but he could at least see her face now.

"th-they'll just end up h-hurt because of me... i c-can't let that happen a-again."

the teacher almost missed the last thing she'd said.