This Feels So Right.

12: New Friendship, Harsh Words.

Our next activity was a two hour hike. Brian and Tom took the front of the group whilst we students trailed behind. Matt walked beside me, asking a lot of questions. I'm not sure why he was so interested in me all of a sudden but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't nice, maybe I'd have a friend in the group after all.

It was good having someone to talk to as we walked, and nice to have a normal conversation with Matt. We had had at least one class together the past 5 years but had never exchanged more than a few sentences each year.

"You're actually pretty cool" Matt said out of nowhere.

"You aren't that bad yourself" I replied, slightly surprised by his comment.

"You two are slowing us down!" Shakira groaned. Sure enough with all the talking we had fallen behind but Shakira was only a couple of meters ahead of us. We quickened our pace so that we were slightly faster than her.

"We should hangout when camp's over sometime. I'd like to get to know you and your friends better" Matt stated.

Before I could answer, Brian called out from ahead "Matt could you come up here please? Girls pick up the pace!"

Matt and I exchanged questioning glances then both shrugged. Matt jogged up to Brian and I lengthened my stride so that I'd cover more ground. However Shakira stopped.

"You heard Mr. Raux" I said, turning to face her.

"You're seriously out to ruin my life aren't you?" She demanded.

I was taken back by her accusation "I'm not trying to ruin anyone's life, I gave you what you wanted back there. Mr. Raux would never have gone on the zip line with you if I didn't suggest it".

"You only did that so you could steal Matt away, I like him too you know. You have to have everyone I like, first Mr. Raux and then Matt? Next it'll be my friends" She accused.

"That wasn't my intention at all" I denied, why would I want to steal people away from her?

"Oh so it's only the guys? You're such a slut, I bet your mother knew you'd turn out to be a worthless attention seeking whore and she was so ashamed that she killed herself for that" That stung. "So why don't you stop stealing my life and follow in her footsteps, and off yourself too. It'd make the world a better place".

She tossed a small rectangular object to me, I caught it instinctively and glanced down at the leather pouch in my hands it had the initials R.S on it and inside sat my old razor blade. I'd lost it six months ago. I looked at Shakira, not believing that even she could sink so low but all she did was smirk.

I could feel tears begin to prick at my eyes, I refused to let her see me cry so I clutched onto the leather pouch and ran into the cover of the trees. I kept running for a while trying my best to dodge the logs and anything else that could trip me but it soon became impossible when tears filled my eyes and I fell over a branch that had broken off a tree and fell onto the ground. 

I tried to stand but a pain shot through my ankle, I sat there hopelessly on the ground and looked to the pouch once more. I wonder... I pulled the blade out of the leather and a piece of paper fell to the ground it was a note: Thought I'd keep this safe for you until the right time presented itself. Happy cutting LOSER!

Had she really kept this on her all this time, making sure to have it in her pocket just in case a chance to do this happened? I knew she was mean and even cruel but this was downright evil!

I didn't want to give her the pleasure so why did I put the corner of my blade to my finger, at the slightest bit of pressure a crimson bead of blood presented itself flooding my mind with comfort, I longed now for the real thing so I put the razor to my left wrist and drew it up my arm, the razors vicious kiss was so sweet that I needed more so I willingly gave in to the impulse again and again, though I was careful not to go too deep, the blood still dripped down my arm and to the ground.

"RILEY!?" Brian's voice called out causing me to drop the razor into the undergrowth. SHIT! I searched around for it desperately and just as I found it a hand grabbed hold of my left arm making me wince at the pain. He obviously felt the wetness of the blood because he released the pressure and turned my wrist over to inspect it. Immediately growing concerned "Why would you do this?" He demanded.

"Why wouldn't I?" I snapped and pulled my arm away then looked to the ground and in a hopeless voice added "I'm pathetic".

"No you're not" He knelt in front of me and reached out, pulling me into an embrace. Not caring about the blood that was now staining his top.

"Shakira's right, my mum would be disappointed I'm worthless" I sobbed into his chest.

"Shakira couldn't be more wrong. You are amazing Riley and one of the best people I've ever met. Your mother would be so proud of you, she'd think you're beautiful, brave, funny, loyal, and all round amazing" Brian said admiringly.

"What makes you say that?" I scoffed.

"Because" he used a hand to tilt my head up so I was looking him in the eyes before he continued "It's how I feel about you" He whispered as he closed the space between us and began to kiss me softly and tenderly.

I was so stunned that I froze, not even kissing back. He stopped and pulled back slightly to study my face his lips pursed in a thin line after a moment he sighed and started to move back. There was no mistaking that kiss for an accident, he had meant to do it.

I couldn't let him go again without me kissing him back so I threw my arms around his neck and pulled his face back to mine kissing him softly. He smiled into it and kissed back almost instantly, slowly we deepened the kiss neither of us holding back what we had clearly waited so long for. The kiss had become fiery passion and yet it was still tender and loving.

"Riley! Mr. Raux!" We heard a male calling out.

"Fuck. It's Matt" Brian groaned as he reluctantly pulled away.

"We should go" I sighed.

"Probably" Brian agreed as he stood and helped me to my feet before calling out a reply to Matt "We're over here!"

I took a few steps but I was limping pretty badly, pain shot through my ankle and it felt pretty weak. I could support myself but I was very slow. Brian offered to let me lean on him for support, we slowly headed toward the place Matts voice had come from, he walked into view, took one look at us and ran to my aid.

With the both of them either side of me they practically carried me back to the trail where the group was waiting for our return. Shakira was the first to spot us "I see you're still alive" Shakira hissed under her breath.

When he saw us Tom's expression filled with worry "What happened? Are you OK?" He asked as he rushed to us. We explained quickly and he nodded. "Can someone take Riley back to camp and to the nurse's office?"

"I will" Matt volunteered before Tom had even finished his sentence.

"I'd rather that no other students missed out on the hike, would you mind escorting them while I took Riley back?" Brian asked. Tom agreed and went back to the group, they started off again while Brian and I headed slowly for camp.