Matchmaking Disaster

Matchmaking Disaster (42)

Matchmaking Disaster (42)

When he took a step back from me and started to walk away without another word, I felt my chest constricted in pain.

I looked down at the floor. The tears that formed in the corner of my eyes found its way out. I wanted to say to him that I still loved him too. But I couldn’t. It’d be better for us to stay this way. I wiped off the tears and went down where Harry was waiting for me.

Why did I get back together with Harry, you asked? I didn’t know too. Stupid, right? Why not just get back with Zac instead of Harry? That’s a question in my head as well. And I wanted to find out the answer… soon.

I forced a smile when I saw Harry. I didn’t want him to know that I cried.

“Hey, how did it go? Is he okay?” he asked, a little concern. He was concern too, don’t judge him. They were friends before, so there’s no need to question his concern.

“He’s fine,” was all I said. Zac didn’t actually answer my question if he was okay. But from the looks of it, he was fine… I guess.

“Okay, so let’s go?”

“Sure.”

I was alone… in my apartment. The chocolate ice cream In my hand -750ml chocolate ice cream- was half empty (or half full). I was crying at the scene of the movie that I was watching. Actually, it was not that dramatic. I didn’t know why there were tears involved.

Thoughts of Zac came to my mind. His face, his smile, his eyes, everything about him was so clear in my mind. The pained look in his face never left my sight. The dullness of his once before lively green eyes was crystal clear in my head.

“Why am I so stupid? I sniffed as I shoved a mouthful ice cream. I so wanted to hug him right then and there.

I knew that he’s absent for a week because of me, particularly me getting back together with Harry. The expression of his face when I blurted those words out of my mouth was a pained expression, but he still managed to forced out a laugh –awkward laugh, actually-. When he stood up, he almost tripped on the coffee table.

Just like Selena Gomez’s song, a day without you is like a year without rain. Poor me. I was using Harry just so I could forget him. What a pity!

The movie ended without me knowing it. I was out with my thought of Zac. Pity. We could only meet in our dreams.

* * * * *

It was four in the morning and I hated myself for not getting any sleep. Thoughts of Zac kept me up all night. There were tears here and there, but other than that, I was a little okay. I needed to sort things about myself. I was obviously confused right now.

I was thinking on forgiving Monica too. Harry told me to hear her up, so I did what he had told me. Monica explained every bits and pieces of her ‘change-me-plan’. Yes, I named it that way because that’s what she wanted. And like a scolding mother, I told her that that was stupid. A very stupid decision.

She also cried a river. I know I was exaggerating. But anyway, she cried because she was so stupid, or rather because of her misact. She was indeed sorry. And who was I not to accept it?

I still find it hard to change that characteristic of mine. That’s one of my best asset and one of the worst liability I had.

I decided not to change that or remove it to myself. I didn’t want to spare the forgiveness when people ask for it. Just like the saying goes, ‘Everybody deserves a second chance.’ And I was very willing to give that second chance to Monica.

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So, another very short chapter, I’ll make this longer once I finished posting all of it. :)

Anyway, as always, facebook on the external link and A year without rain song on the side.