𝗫𝗮𝗻𝗻𝘆// 𝗘.𝗗.

 prologue

People never stop asking me how.
How could you do this to yourself?
How could you do this to you're family?
How did I even get involved in this shit?

Nobody asks why.

The day my father died two years ago I felt numbness.
A hole in my chest filled with nothing.
I couldn't stand being at home, everything reminded me of him.
My little brother, my mother, I couldn't even stand to look at the chair he would sit in and watch Saturday night live skits in.
So I went to parties.
They got my mind off of my father, My mother and I's fights, everything.

But it never got rid of the hole.
That is until I discovered drugs.
Xannies, OxyContin, Opioids, Benzodiazepines, all of it.

It made me feel alive.
It made me feel like all the shitty things in my life just vanished.

They made me feel.
They gave me the emotions I've been craving for since my dad died.

But they soon became everything.
I didn't care though,
They gave me everything I wanted and missed for two years.

Except for when I overdosed 3 months ago.
I don't remember much other than going to party with my friends and then waking up in a white room.

I remember the look on my mother's face when I woke up.
A mixture of sadness and disappointment.
I couldn't even bear to look at my brother Lukas.
The next thing I know I'm being shipped off to rehab.
I spent a month in there and it was a living a hell.

Today was my last day and honestly couldn't be more happier.