Bulletproof Soul

The Epiphany that You Give Me

Seokjin and I walk through Seoul Children's Grand Park. Seokjin pushes newborn Seokjun in his stroller. Little Soojin holds my hand tightly, skipping and humming a happy tune. Soojin loved coming to the Children's park every first Sunday. I always packed a lunch with her favorite snacks and we would have a picnic under the largest tree in the center of the park. This will be Seokjun's first visit to the Children's park, which he probably won't remember, but at least I can take pictures to show him when he's older.

Soojin jumped up and down as we got closer to the park entrance. "Eomma, Eomma, let's go, let's go!" Her excitement was exploding out of her. I tighten my grip, making sure she doesn't run off.

"Just a minute my pretty princess, we need to get you a rental stroller first." Seokjin laughs as I lift Soojin up and carry her to the rental booth. Soojin wiggles into the stroller, chanting "Monkeys, monkeys, monkeys!" I take a deep breath and shoot Seokjin a tired look. He just smiles and offers a stroller swap that I jump at.

"Let's head to Monkey Village first and then visit all the other animals until lunch." Seokjin was good at making decisions when I was flustered. I nod and we start the long walk to the monkeys, avoiding the Traditional Fairy Tale Village. If we passed there, we would never make it to the monkeys and Soojin would feel like her visit to the park was wasted. Thinking about it, Soojin's favorite toy was a stuffed monkey that Seokjin gave her when she was born. It's no surprise she thinks that he is her father; he's taken care of us since before she was born.

For as long as I've known him, even when we were far apart, Seokjin has taken care of me. From catching me when I fall, to encouraging me to follow my heart. Even when I moved from my studio apartment, he found me a place to live, to call home. While he already had a roommate, his best friend from Konkuk University, who lived right across the hall, was looking for a new roommate.

Together we carried some of my stuff up to my new place. Stopping at the door, Seokjin put down the box he was carrying and bangs on the door loudly.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!!" The door swung open and my new roommate instantly made eye contact with me. He was the same height as Seokjin, wearing an oversized white t-shirt, gray sweatpants and slippers.

Dumbfounded, he accepted the box Seokjin had shoved into his hands.

"Help out already." Seokjin push my roommate around to put the box inside, then gestures I put my box down, too. The three of us finish bring up my stuff and leave it in the living room for the night. Before leaving, Seokjin finally makes the official introduction for us.

"By the way, this is my friend Hoseok; he's a fashion major at Konkuk." Hoseok and I look at each other and exchange bows. "Hoseok, this is my old friend from high school, Nell. Be nice to her." With that, he turns and leaves for the night.

Hoseok showed me to my room and avoided eye contact for the rest of the night....and the rest of the week. I remember going to Seokjin for advice on how to better break the ice with Hoseok.

"Invite him to eat. Maybe have him meet you after school." Seokjin just smiled and wink. He was being mysterious again. Or maybe he wanted to focus on his script he was writing for class. Either way, I took his advice to heart and went home.

Passing the Little Animal Village, Seokjun started crying. I reach into the diaper bag, looking for his pacifier. "Oh no, his pacifier is missing." I look at Seokjin and I can feel the panic coming. Seokjin simply smiles and reaches into his pocket. He pulls out Seokjun's pacifier, placing it into the baby's mouth. This soothed Seokjun and he went back to sleep quickly. What would I do without him? I let out a sigh and we continue to Monkey Village.

As the monkeys came into view, Soojin started bouncing in her stroller, pointing and shouting that we move fast. "Appa, appa! Go faster! Faster!" We glance at each other and both chuckle at her enthusiasm. Then, without skipping a beat, we race together to Monkey Village, making sure that Soojin won the race. Her excited laughter matched the wild chatter of the monkeys. It was noisy today at the park; just as noisy as it was at school the day I invited Hoseok to dinner.