Can you re-love a cheater?

1

She had been busy for the last few months, so had he. Going back and forth with work and constantly missing each other. Love is just a dilemma people tend to believe in. She  had observed that people used this term to actually cover up their actual concern. Loneliness is what you get out of it; it makes your life miserable, breaks your heart into thousands of pieces and still each broken part of your heart misses each other like her heart missed him as a whole. It kept her obsessed with him. She missed his face,his eyes, his smile, his scent. All the time knowing that she could never be with him for more than a day. Life became vulnerable as she was enslaved by her thoughts, she had  tried  to be normal but couldn't. Each and every thing seemed meaningless, at starting everything looked extraordinary and ecstatic but at the end she was left with nothing except agony and emptiness. And that had summed her months without him. She didn't blame him or herself. It was circumstance. And she learnt to deal with that. She embraced it and forced herself to adapt. For him. For them. She was the one constantly sacrificing and putting a 100% effort in when she never received anything in return. She hurt herself with her own expectations. But she had them because she held him in such a high regard. She felt stupid, cursing herself as he withdrew from her... communication becoming scarce as she tried to piece his life together from afar. She struggled to cope; as she herself began to withdraw from her friends and family. Thoughts getting darker each passing second as he declined her calls or didn't respond to her messages. She hadn't noticed straight away...it had been a slow burn. Red flag after red flag blaring at her to stop but she continued. She continued to break her own heart. And it hurt. He was letting her down. Over and over again. The disappointment slowly suffocating her, the resentment at herself for not trying hard enough.

That was a lie.

She was trying...harder then he was, she tried everything to reach through to him but he suddenly seemed immune to her. Out of the blue. No words of warning. He was hurting her every waking second, her thoughts constantly routing back to him through her own hectic schedule, her phone near In case he bothered to respond to her. He had a few times. A rare occurrence, but he did; messages brief but explaining things to her. It was enough to put a smile on her face for the rest of the week but secretly it was Wendy complaining to Mark and telling him to get his best friend to pay some attention to his girlfriend.

Girlfriend. Does he even regard her as that? She had been there for him from the start of his journey- she knew he was destined to do big things, that was his personality, the happiness and love extended to all. Just not her, anymore. He began taking her for granted, he knew she would drop everything for him, and he played it to his advantage calling her at ungodly hours to download but failing to pick up when she needed him.

Her anxiety had gotten worse without him; she suddenly hated how dependent she had become on him. Her breathing was laboured one night before a performance her nerves kicking in, he helped her control that at the start of their relationship, whisking her in his arms, teaching her how to calm her heart. He promised then he'd pick up the phone whenever she needed him, she had tried desperately, her eyes blurring as she stabbed at her screen for him. It rang out, her attack getting worse to the point she had passed out. She hid it from all of the girls and him. Blaming it on fatigue and assuring the producers she was fine when she wasn't. And that was the first instance that she felt herself hate him. Hate the one she loved.

It was March 28th. His birthday. She smiled looking at the gifts she had brought him, her heart flipping in excitement, finally meeting its owner. She walked up to the got7 apartment the boys welcoming her in, engaging her in conversation as she smiled and laughed her eyes secretly searching for him. Her girls joined them shortly after, she felt relaxed, maybe that was due to his presence she could feel elsewhere in the room. Her laughter capturing everyone as she playful punched Mark who wrapped an arm around her and Wendy. The others teasing each other. She looked around her eyes sparkling as she sipped on her drink. He hadn't come from wherever he was to greet her, there were mountains of people but the boys of Got7 made sure to keep her and her girls by their side the entire night. They heard a call for the cake to be cut, a look of confusion passed over their faces, nonetheless they moved crowding around the cake and him. Her eyes finally setting sights on him. He had changed, his  hair lighter and slicked, his suit highlighting the muscles he had worked for. He oozed Sophistication, his presence commanding the whole room, as a girl stood next to him. She saw the look the boys passed to each other, their hands clenching in fists as they looked at her in concern. Her brows furrowed in confusion, smiling slightly and turning her face back to the scene in front of her. She watched him cut the cake as the room screamed his name. She watched as he fed the girl first who fed him back. She watched as he wrapped an arm around her waist pulling her closer. It stopped there. But she could feel her heart thudding, her mind menacingly telling her, taunting her against him, her heart not wanting to listen. The crowd disbanded as the boys moved her and her girls back to the kitchen engaging her in conversation trying to take her mind of the scene she had just seen. They failed. Her mind screaming for her to wake up and face reality, her heart begging her to wait and hold on. Three hours had passed, her mood dropping as people left. Only they remained. She heard laughing and giggling, her heart constricting. Her lungs begging for air, as she shakily stood, everyone watching as she walked towards the sounds. In his room. One hand grasping the door handle the other holding the present she hadn't let go off since she came. It had struck midnight...it was her birthday. A present she didn't want staring her in the face. She chocked on a sob grabbing his attention as the boys and girls stood behind her. She looked at him accusingly, her hand dropping the present to the floor in a loud clatter, he stood up with no shirt watching the gift bag fall from her hand. His eyes locking with hers the accusations piercing him. As her tears fell down her face. She stood there. "Thanks for the birthday gift." She said looking at her watch. His own gaze softening as he looked at the clock on his wall. "Jackson." Called the female voice. Irene's eyes trailed behind him before turning back to him shaking her head in pure disgust. "Irene...." she heard him begin. Her eyes sprouting with tears as she shook her head taking steps back. He watched as she struggled to take breaths, her chest heaving. "Irene...please you need to listen to me...you need to calm down...Babygirl your struggling." He took a hesitant step forward reaching out only for her to take more steps back, shaking her head. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of helping her, she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction and proof that she needed him. She bolted a second later, rubbing her tears that came pouring out. She heard him desperately scream her name over and over again until it faded. Mark and Jinyoung stopping him and pushing him away from grabbing her wrist. They cleared the path for her. "You guys don't understand...she needs me, she's having a panic attack." Mark laughed "You we're just caught cheating on her...I don't think she needs you." Wendy, blinded with rage pushed past Mark grabbing onto Jackson. "She's having a panic attack...why should that make a difference to you when she called you four days ago when she was in the middle of having one before we had a performance she called you numerous times but you declined each and every single call until she completely passed out." Wendy breathed heavily, Mark placing a hand on her waist. "Don't you dare say she needs you because you couldn't even keep the promises you made to her of being there when she needed you."  She seethed. Jackson felt his eyes gloss over, finally coming to terms with what he had done, he walked back in his room grabbing a shirt before sprinting out Irene. He screamed her name into nothingness, the desperation to repent clear, he stopped trying to think rationally spotting her car; he walked near to it his heart breaking at the destruction he had caused, his breath caught in his throat as he watched her try and fail to calm herself down, he tapped at the screen watching as her head slowly turned to him, her eyes widening in recognition. His mind taunted him at what he caused his heart falling at the pressure, her eyes were puffy, tears mixing with her mascara, her lips quivering. Not only had he broken her heart, he had done it on her birthday. He watched as she turned away from him in a haste movement fishing for something in her purse. She pulled out her keys turning the ignition on as his eyes pleaded with her; his voice failing... he hit the window trying to stop her, knowing her panic attack hadn't calmed down. His own mind going into a sense of panic as she drove off speeding. He fished for his own keys running to his car driving straight after her. The roads were more or less empty, he cursed at himself as he watched her speed. She always loved driving and racing the two going to tracks in their free time...he knew she was good. But she was taking far to many unnecessary risks. He sped up besides her rolling down the window as he shouted "Irene pull over....your going to fast....Irene.....Irene...." she heard nothing. Or she chose not to hear anything, her foot stepping harder on the accelerator she swerved overtaking him and making sure he couldn't come up on her. Out off nowhere a lorry came pulling out, Irene slammed on her brakes swerving to avoid a head on collision, crashing into a barrier instead. Jackson slowed down skidding to a stop as he looked on in front of him failing to process what had just taken place. He shuffled in his seat ripping the seatbelt off, and opening the door just as Irene did the same. Her vision was blurry, her head spinning as she staggered walking down the road. She could faintly hear her name being called, but continued walking until her arm was grabbed and she was spun into his arms. The ringing in her ears was unbearable, but it blocked out his voice for which she was thankful for. He looked at her forehead which was bleeding, fussing over her as she watched him expressionless. When the ringing had stopped and she had recovered she pushed his arms of her, shoving his chest and walking off. He desperately tried to talk to her. "Irene...please...please Babygirl...I didn't mean-" she cut him off violently turning "Don't you dare finish that sentence Wang, DON'T YOU DARE.... you didn't meant to what...didn't mean to cheat on me...well you did and god knows how long you have been. Gosh I'm so stupid how did I not work this out before." She placed a hand on her head. "You fucking cheated on me...I didn't cheat on you. I have the right to be pissed so don't you dare try to take that right of me." He shook his head taking a step forward "I'm not...Babygirl-" "STOP CALLING ME
THAT." He flinched, "What the hell do you want me to say Jackson that I forgive you cause I sure as hell do not forgive you...I saw the signs but I ignored it...you want to know why? Because I gave you the benefit of the doubt, I forced myself to believe that you actually might love me and those words weren't just empty promises. Thank you for putting me back in my place."  She turned around beginning to walk off again only to be stopped by his voice "I never meant to hurt you." She closed her eyes not turning back. "No Jackson, you did worse than that..." she heard him take steps towards her. "I know, I've messed up completely. I was the one to pull the trigger on our relationship but Irene..." "No Jackson you killed us...you messed up your right, but you've been messing up for months. I'm the one that has been carrying this burnt out flame... calls declined, brief messages, no time to meet.
Let's face it you chose your career and now you have everything... money, fame, a legacy and of course who can forget the girls." She laughed bitterly "You know it was never about the money Irene..." "Yes I do know. Because believe it or not I paid attention to our relationship, whenever you needed me I dropped everything for you, you phoned at ridiculous times and I still picked up. Let me ask you something was I actually your life coach under the pretence of a relationship?" His eyes closed in agony. "Great something else you can't answer me...how about we move on then to a simple question....why did you cheat." His eyes remained closed tears falling consecutively. He heard her laugh... a laugh filled with pain to the brim. "People said we were destined to fall apart, looks like you believed them Jackson." He knew she was talking about Youngji and the spiteful words she had said when Jackson told everyone him and Irene were dating, Youngji even blamed Irene for breaking their friendship apart, and all through it she took every ounce of insults. For him. She shook her head in disgust at him. "I know that I haven't been the best boyfriend-" "yeah you've been a lousy boyfriend." His eyes locked with hers , challenging him "i know it seems like  I chose my career and gave up on you-" "yes that's exactly what it looks like because that's the truth...stop trying to sugar coat it, I can take another dose of
Pain...you've been feeding it to me for months." Her voice broke at the end. His eyes finally opening as he watched her. "I'm sorry" he whispered. As much as she tried to hold it in, the pain came out like an uproar from her throat in the form of a silent scream. The beads of water started falling down one after another, without a sign of stopping. She punched the car and tried to scream, but her voice was melted by the sound of the place. The muffled sobs wracked against her chest. The world turned into a blur, and so did all the sounds. The taste. The smell. Everything was gone. The last painful emotion slammed against her before she lost the feeling of feeling.  "No your not..."she whispered refusing to believe him. She felt her head spin, the exhaustion taking the driving seat. Everything darkened into nothingness as she passed into the oblivion of unconsciousness. Jackson caught her, picking her up bridal style and driving back to their place.

It was a few hours later when Irene woke up, her head spinning as she tried to process her surroundings. Her head instantly knowing she was in his room from the scent of the sheets that she had once laid in before. She sat up grabbing her head, hearing distant shouts coming from the living room. Her feet fell to the bare floor as she dragged her heels disgusted that she was in the same bed he had cheated on her in. She flung the door open walking closer to the progressively louder shouts, catching, "You cheated on her with me Jackson, you were the one in the relationship you can't hold me accountable." She looked at him as he held him head in his hands, the fury evident on his face. She looked between the two her eyes becoming less fuzzy as her brain registered the features of the woman standing in front of her. Youngji. Irene felt herself take a step back colliding with the drawer causing everyone's attention to cast towards her. She looked at him, venom spitting from her tongue. "You cheated on me with HER....of all fucking people in the world did it have to be her?" Silence. She looked at the others in the room. "Can you guys give us a minute....Wends come here. " Irene whispered in her ear as the younger girl nodded signalling the others to the front door. Irene stood in front of him, as he looked at her pleadingly. "Irene I'm sorry... I don't know where things went wrong...I just, I don't know. I can't give you an answer as to why I did what I did but can you please forgive me." "Jackson we had this conversation yesterday..." "I know but tensions were running high and-" "and what you'd thought I'd change my answer. Do you understand how selfish you sound right now. You want me to forgive you... you committed the worst thing possible Jackson. You fucking cheated...you've made me question why I wasn't good enough for you. You've made me question what she has that I don't and your asking me to forgive you. Everything else, all the missed dates or the missed phone calls and messages I forgave that and look where it got me." She looked at him shaking her head. "If I had cheated on you would you forgive me?" She watched as his gaze fell to the floor. "No you wouldn't so how the hell can you expect that I'd forgive you? Jackson I'm tired of this...I can't keep doing this, I've needed you but you don't need me. You have everything why would you want my love? How can my love compete with all the luxuries in life? I didn't have anything else to offer but my heart. And you've broken that." The desperation was apparent in his eyes, as reached a hand out "Jackson don't...please...we have ran our course, you can't save a sinking ship." Her eyes misted over as she looked at him. "I have questions but I know you won't give me answers so let's just leave things the way that they are. Because I can't fix this. Actually no I refuse to fix this." She picked up her purse walking past him. He grabbed her wrist causing her to close her eyes as her tears broke free flowing down her face. "Goodbye Jackson." She whispered loud enough for him to hear, he felt as she broke his grip staggering to the door and walking out. He collapsed to the floor his head in his hands as he silently processed what he had just destroyed.

-Authors note:
Hey guys hope you enjoy this one let me know what you think of the start. Lots of love.