Can you re-love a cheater?

14

Irene dried her tears her heart pounding as she heard the door of her office slam shut, Jackson storming out the fury evident, even if she only saw his side profile, she could see it in his tense jaw and now wild eyes. She slammed her head against the door she was leaning on. Her form slipping down it as she wrapped her hands around herself tightly trying to brace herself and regain her lost composure. He always had this type of power over her, it was something that consumed her and she could never let go off. Even after five years her heart beat only for him. Only for Jackson Wang. Only for her Jackson, but the reality was he wasn't hers in the same way she reminded him that she was not his. She made out that it didn't hurt her to hurt him but it did. Every look in his eye felt like a dagger to her own chest but she was stubborn; her heart broken too many time for her to trust anyone with it, hell she didn't even trust herself with it. Hers eyes closed. That wasn't the truth. Her heart knew better. She was resenting herself because despite all he had done she still trusted him. Why? She had no idea. Another lie. She couldn't bring herself to comprehend it but deep down under the multiple layers of cold exterior she knew it. She knew it was because she was still in love with him. Five years could not erase his imprint from her heart, partly because of Jay but partly because she didn't let him die in her heart, torturing herself over and over again with his memorise, with his pictures. She self inflicted the poison after he stopped giving it. She was addicted to it. To him.

She slammed her head against the wall, her lotus like eyes slipping elegant tears down her face. She was so tried. Tried of the pain, tired of the constant hurt. She wanted to heal, she wanted to let go off everything but she didn't know how too. She no longer knew how to set her heart free from the torment. Even looking at him became suffocating, her breath falling short every time he approached her, every time he would smile at her. Her heart always knew how to ache at the wrong time, to the point it would stop her from saying anything. He didn't know the reality, the reality that her heart was aching to be with him, that she was very much still in love with him. And maybe he would never know. And maybe that was were their stories detached themselves.

She let a bitter laugh out. She was stupid. Stupid to think they would ever escape each other, his name was written in her destiny, a constant reminder that her running was useless. He would find her. This was the charade that life begun from the very start but how she prayed it would take away the suffering and pain as well instead of giving her conflicting feelings.

She opened up her phone, searching desperately...searching for tickets. Tickets to get the hell out of here as fast as she could, to save herself. To save her child. And to save him from this now toxic cycle.

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She hadn't come home. The rest of them waiting rather impatiently as Jackson took long strides up and down the room, the fury that had been edged into his face since he came home still present. Jay watched his father walk back and forth, his eyes following every moment as his small arm reached out, his hand grasping Jackson's, causing him to turn. "Your making me dizzy Dad." He said giggling slightly, watching as Jackson's simmering anger dissolved into nothing. He kissed his sons forehead softening down his hair before sitting next to him trying to calm his forever restless heart. They heard a ping from Wendy's phone. "She's making her own way, she's only just finished work." The rest nodded, as Jackson picked up jay walking to the car with the rest in quick succession. He didn't believe it. He didn't believe her excuse, not one bit. He knew her well enough to know that she was avoiding him, hiding. He strapped Jay in before sitting himself, his gaze following the blue cerulean sky, his mind and heart begging for her to just let him all the way in. He knew. As much as she thought he didn't, he knew, he saw it in her eyes: he knew she was still in love with him. It was the very reason he was fighting so hard. The small gestures to try and fix her heart, to try and make her believe that he would never do what he did again. He always knew she was stubborn, something he both hated and loved about her yet his own heart began to bleed in need of her. He sighed, his gaze falling from the scene as jay snuggled into his fathers warmth, His eyes meeting Wendy's who offered him a smile. He managed to give her one back before looking straight back out the window, missing the way that mark and Bambam's eyes flashed in concern.