The Boy From the Letters||Meanie

𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘯

mingyu,

   i saw you with a girl today,
you were laughing and you seemed happy.
i'm happy for you and i hate that i still like you even when you don't like me.
i hate that i'm gay.
i hate that my dad hates me.
i hate that mom left.
i hate school.
i hate my friends for leaving me.
i hate my new bullies.
i hate that they made my friends leave.
i hate that i hate my friends even though they didn't do anything wrong.
i hate that i'd probably do the same thing. 
i hate that i hate so many things. 
i hate you for being so perfect.
i hate that i still like you.
i honestly hate myself.
today's letter was so full of hate,
i'm sorry.

             -beanie

P.S. i've cut myself again today.