Always Hate Me

29. A Troubled Heart

Lucjan stood on the rooftop of Gomorrah's largest mosque and looked out over the city, the wind flapping his dark trench coat. Somewhere in this metropolis was Ezra Ryder. Lucjan's gaze narrowed. The warlock had cheated death and risen from the dead – or else someone was putting up a good show that he had. Either way, Lucjan had an enemy out there. An enemy that he couldn't find.

Tell him, I'm coming for his heart.

Lucjan hissed, baring his fangs. Clouds moved over the sun, casting the domed roof he stood on into shadow. Bats took flight – disturbed from nooks – and Lucjan watched their flimsy wings flap in agitation as they swarmed past. A familiar scent hit Lucjan's senses. He looked down and watched Chloe exiting the building opposite. The brass letters 'Orphanage' gleamed in the streetlight behind her.

Chloe headed toward the intersection and Lucjan followed, moving parallel to her along the rooftops. She waited at the crossing, re-adjusting her mask and Lucjan waited also – perfectly balanced on the sloping roof. He listened to every breath she made. She sighed heavily and he heard the difference. He betrayed no flicker of impatience at her slow pace. He watched her, attentive – observant.

I'm coming for his heart.

That had been the threat and Lucjan was taking it seriously. He was protecting his heart.

**

"Have you been avoiding me?" Ryder asked Devi. He'd called for her at the Second Gate but her colleague had told him the vague excuse that 'she was too busy to see him'. Ryder hadn't left. He'd lingered in the kitchen and caught her exiting the back stairwell.

Devi's face was flushed from cleaning. Her eyes widened on seeing him, alarmed, before her mouth drooped. Ryder noticed this and he frowned. What did her expression mean?

"I've been busy," she murmured. Ryder glanced around them, checking that they were alone.

"Is this because of the pain?" Had her hurt her too badly last time?

"No."

She made to side-step past him but Ryder gripped her arm to stop her. Devi flinched and Ryder immediately released her.

"I wasn't going to hurt you."

"I know." But she didn't look him in the eye.

"Devi, please. Talk to me."

Devi finally looked up and her resolve to keep quiet, crumbled.

"I'm trying to create some distance," she admitted.

"Why?"

"Because I want to get over you, Crevan."

Ryder straightened up. Her answer had taken him aback. Devi grimaced, she wished that she'd not said anything but it was too late now. "I get it, ok. Your feelings have changed. I can tell – even if you don't say anything and I'm not blaming you. Honestly, it didn't make sense for you to like me like that anyway, I mean – look at me. So, it's ok. I just... right now I need to protect myself."

"Protect yourself?"

"From falling any more in love with you."

Ryder lowered his head. The guilt felt crushing in his stomach.

"In my experience," his voice was gruff, "it's not possible to fall out of love. You can't catch yourself from the fall."