« « 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 » » 𝒜𝓁𝑒𝒿𝒶𝓃𝒹𝓇𝑜 𝑅𝑜𝓈𝒶𝓇𝒾𝑜 ✔︎

𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔢𝔱𝔢𝔢𝔫

                            alejandro

"i didn't want to feel anything anymore"

i watch as rachel walks into the bathroom and closes the door , i hear her sobs through the thick wooden door.

"FUCK" i scream , everyone in the room looks at me. almost everyone is in tears

"i fucked up so badly , who ignores there best friend?" abby says while wiping her tears

"i fucked up even worse abby , i did this to her i broke her heart , i shattered it. i told her that i liked her and put her hopes up everytime for them to be crushed. truth is i fucking love her with all my heart. i am a monster i lead her on , i called her self centered , i went to another girl after i told her how much i loved her , she shouldn't be feeling this way because of me , she deserves better" i say while sitting on her bed

"alejandro this is all my fault , i made the tiktok with you and she saw it if she didn't-"

"vanessa it's not your fault , it's mine i made her feel this way just because some one new came along , i ignored her and treated her like shit when ive only know her for like a month i managed to break her heart multiple times" i let out a deep breath , the room is silent you can't even hear her sobs anymore. it's quite a little too quiet. i go up to the bathroom door and see rachel with a shit ton of pills in her hand.

"rachel no" i run towards her and smack the pills out of her hand , she glares at me

"why alejandro?"  i feel everyone else behind me , they are all in shock when they see the pills on the ground

"dont why alejandro me! why were you going to kill yourself?" i scream at her

"ale i don't wanna feel this pain anymore , it feels like you're punching me in the face and everytime you do i still go back because i want you to love me. you say you love me and i believe you , im vulnerable when it comes to your love. i'm a sucker for your love"

"i do love you rachel and i told you i'll wait for you"

"what if i don't wanna wait anymore? what if at this point i'm just scared"

"then let me show you that you have absolutely nothing to be scared of , i promise you there is nothing for you to fear , when i say that i like you , i mean it"

"ale i know you like me , but the question is do you love me? cause i can't keep going back to someone who doesn't love me like i love them"

i watch as she looks down to the pills on the ground. i walk up to her and put my finger on her chin. i lift her chin up and our eyes meet. it's like a disney movie when the two main characters are going to kiss for the first time her eyes sparkling and her lips look luscious

"rachel gonzalez i love you more then words can express but as everyone says actions speak louder then words so let me show you how much i love , let me take you on a date tomorrow night" she looks at me in the eyes , she stands there for a good minute contemplating wether she should give me another chance , she sighs and then slowly nods , everyone behind us silently cheers , i see her smile a little. she yawns , i hug her and i pick her up bridal style and place her on the bed , i lay down next to her and wrap my arm around her waist and use my other hand ready to play with her hair till she goes to sleep. everyone else starts to grab pillows and get comfy on the floor , guess we're having a sleepover

"i think i'm going to go" vanessa says with a nod

"no stay , im sorry i got jealous but you deserve to be apart of our group" rachel says with a smile , vanessa smiles back and grabs a pillow to get comfy on the floor with everyone else as rachel grabs the remote and turns on disney+

-

we all awake at the sound of an alarm, mattia groans loudly waking us all up even more

"shut it off" abby yells as she's cuddled up into kairi

"okay okay" vanessa yells as she reaches for her phone , she shuts off the alarm and i reach for my phone, rachel is somehow still asleep

"should we skip?" mattia ask

"yes please i need some rest after what happened yesterday" alvaro says while snuggling more into his blanket , i look at rachel she is sleeping soundly, you can hear her little snores as they escape from her slightly parted lips i smile at the sight in front of me

"dude stop staring at rachel that shits creepy" roshuan says while recording me on snap , i sigh

"i can't she's just so beautiful. i can't believe i almost drove her to the brink of suicide. i don't deserve her she deserves so much better then me" i say with a shrug

"nah y'all are perfect for each other , your just both scared that your gonna get hurt. i can see it in your eyes ale , even though you were looking at me yesterday i'm pretty sure you were wishing it was rachel" vanessa says while she texts someone , i nod agreeing with her

"see now get the fuck up cause you have to cook all of us breakfast to make rachel proud" vanessa says while kicking my leg that's dangling off the side of the bed , i roll my eyes and slowly get up i put her stuffed animal stitch in her arms and make my way downstairs to the kitchen. i go to the fridge and see a note

hey rachel sweetie we'll be back in two weeks your siblings are going on a school camping trip and your dad and i volunteered as the chaperone's

- love mom , 2/7/19

her parents had left her home alone for the past two days , i shrug and open the fridge and grab the eggs , bacon , butter , syrup , and waffle mix out of the fridge

MESSAGE FROM LOVINMATTIA!
hey guys this book is a way to spread awareness as well , suicide, drug and alcohol addiction. so if you know anyone or if you have any of these problems. reach out. i promise you someone will listen to you. also just wanted to thank y'all once again for all the love on this book and i just wanted to ask if i were to write a kairi book would y'all read?