Darth Minar

Chapter 27

Kanan was plagued with dreams that night.  Strange dreams of light and dark, but one in particular kept coming back.

He was at Malachor again, though in his mind he wondered why he'd ever return.  It was dark inside the temple, and he couldn't see through the darkness.

He remembered Hera's frantic voice, pleading him about coming back.  And something else...but he couldn't remember.

Kanan could see Vader's outline from the light of his blood red lightsaber, and from Kanan's blue one.  There were arguments lost in translation.  And then they fought, and Kanan could sense so much darkness.  He had to wake up. 

I hate you, he heard himself say.  I will kill you!

Kanan woke up breathing heavily in a pool of sweat.  He needed to talk to Ezra, but he needed to step lightly.  He was concerned of the dark side usage channeled through the young boy yesterday, and all Kanan could think to do was give his Padawan the benefit of the doubt.  The last time he didn't, it pushed his Padawan away, far away. 

But first, Kanan had something important to do. 

When he'd lost his vision, he'd let himself go.  His beard was unkempt and his hair needed a desperate trim.  He fixed it quickly, restoring his hair to it's former glory.  He shaved his beard down to the chin patch he had before, and cut his hair as well.  Just as he was finishing up, he heard a knock on the door.

"Kanan, it's me, Hera.  Can I come in?"

"Yeah, come in."  He said, watching as his door slid open.  Hera smiled at him, taking her hand to his face and caressing his cheek.

"New look, love?"  She asked with a smile.  Kanan smiled back.

"More like the return of an old one.  It was way overdue.  I have to say, I've missed looking at your beautiful face every morning."  Hera nestled her head under his chin, and he pulled her into a long hug.  He pulled away eventually, she'd come in for a reason.

"What's going on this morning?"  Kanan asked, clipping his lightsaber to his belt.  He'd pulled out his old armor, which it wasn't hard to admit he missed.  He really felt like himself again, and he'd never felt better.  Besides the strange dreams. 

"Nothing much, Ezra's not awake yet.  Zeb took him to the infirmiry last night so the doctors could check on him, and he's still there."

"I'll go to him."  Kanan said quickly.  "I want to be there when he wakes up."

"Alright."  Hera said smiling. 

"I'll see you later,"  Kanan said, giving another quick hug to Hera, and they walked out of his room together. 

Kanan had been pulled in twenty different directions all morning; congratulations and questions and murmurs came from everywhere.  It was hard to keep track of.  He couldn't help but wonder if this was how Ezra felt when he had fully come back.  He had to admit, he didn't like it much.  He felt like a creature in a cage.  People were staring and whispering, but he wouldn't give up his vision to spare the judgement.  Just how he was sure Ezra wouldn't choose death over the awkwardness.  Right?

His thoughts kept bringing him back to Ezra, and he couldn't help but feel guilt when it took him hours to find his way to the infirmary.  Ezra was still asleep, he had been for nearly fifteen hours.  He was worried, and it probably wasn't good for him.  He thought he'd been done worrying for a long time.  He supposed he was wrong. 

...

Kanan had had all day to think about what to say to Ezra.  It'd been twenty-six hours and he still hadn't woken.  But Kanan wouldn't leave Ezra's side, he had to be there when the boy woke.  He'd taken the day to look around the room, to really look at it.