Darth Minar

Chapter 23 - Book 2

Kanan feared the future, feared the horrors that lived in his past, and especially feared what was right in front of him. He had traveled away from the rebellion, away from his apprentice who needed him, he needed to put a stop to it all. A stop to the pain and suffering, and a stop to the Dark Side in his and Ezra's life.

He stood at the foot of the sith temple where it all had started. He had lost his vision, he had lost Ashoka, he had lost his apprentice. He had lost everything on Malachor. He wondered why the greatest Jedi to ever live, a master knight, one of the oldest and wisest had sent him to the place where an evil was awakened and almost everything he loved died? Maybe it was a teaching lesson, or maybe an omen of some sort. He was yet to figure it out and time was of the essence.

"Are you done with your little pep talk, Jedi? I wouldn't bother, because you are not leaving here alive." Vader spoke with disdain towards Kanan, and stood with a sense of urgency, as if Kanan's death had to squeezed into his busy schedule. Though Kanan couldn't see Vader's face, he could sense his hatred, his facial expressions. His ominous breathing was the only noise in the temple, it was otherwise deserted by all life and in complete ruins. Kanan couldn't see anything, but could sense the destruction and chaos surrounding him.

"Kanan?" A voice flooded into his communicator. "Kanan, don't do this. It's not your fault, please, think, be reasonable. There isn't anything you could have done to prevent his death." Hera pleaded, something she seemed to a lot with him increasingly. "Kanan, I love you don't leave me."

Vader ignited his saber meanicingly and got into striking position, as if telling Kanan it was time. Kanan sighed and clicked off his communicator.

"It was my fault." He said aloud, not to anyone in particular, really just to himself. "I could have saved him if I was a better master. I could have saved him...."

Anger flooded his veins as adrenaline. Kanan was furious, raging he ignited his saber forcefully. Whispers of the dark and the light rang through his ears, he needed to calm down. The light side was his way, his tool. He needed to use it.

But he couldn't calm down, he almost didn't want to. He felt more powerful, more sure. He felt more confident he could avenge his young apprentice. All he could see was darkness, but it felt as if he was looking onto Vader with a feeling he was afraid of. A feeling he couldn't control. A feeling so terrible it was strengthening.

Hate.

Kanan charged, hate radiating from his form. He didn't know what he was thinking, he just charged. He was dangerous, and dark, and it simply brought a smile to Vader's face.

"I hate you!" He shouted with little reserve. "You killed him! You killed Ezra! And for that I will kill you!"

...

A WEEK EARLIER

Kanan hadn't seen anything since the memory of the first Inquisitor and he was beginning to become restless. He had sat with Ezra for what seemed like centuries and no change had come. He still had little ability to function and little to no force signature. He was fearful, an emotion Jedi should rarely use if they wanted to stay away from the Dark Side of the Force.

"Kanan," Sabine had entered behind him and he turned to face her. "You need to go get some rest, it's been weeks since he's shown you anything or attempted to contact you or whatever. You need rest and he'll understand that. I can stay with him, you can leave him with me for a few hours." Kanan was hesitant. Of course, he loved Sabine and trusted her completely, but he just couldn't leave Ezra. He blamed himself, he needed Ezra to be okay, and he needed to be here when Ezra was okay. He sighed.

"Please, Kanan," Sabine said firmly. Kanan paused a moment before answering. He couldn't quite formulate words.

"What's he doing right now?" Was all he managed to say. There was a pause of silence.

"He sitting up on his bed, looking at the wall. But that's not the point Kanan. He's living and breathing and healing, and he will be when you return from a good sleep."

Kanan paused before getting to his feet and offering Sabine his chair. She smiled weakly, a sensation Kanan sensed and something Kanan yearned to see again. Sighing, he left the room and went straight to his bedroom without looking back or really thinking in general. He wished for Ezra to be better, and he would give up anything for him.

As soon as his head hit the pillow, Kanan was asleep. A sleep he honestly wished to be dreamless and visionless and memoryless. A sleep not quite contempt, but not restless either. A rest that let you sleep and recharge, but also allowed you to lie on edge and be prepared to jump up and act if needed.

Of course when did Kanan ever get what he wanted.

His dreams were plagued of visions and memories, all of which seemed to be tainted red with the dark side. He tossed and turned and barely slept a wink. He woke to darkness and slowly got out of his bed. Blinking sleep out of his eyes, he headed silently and sleepily towards the infirmary to check on his apprentice.

As he entered, he saw Ezra was now asleep and Sabine sat by his bedside half-asleep. She seemed tired, warn. He wondered how long he'd been asleep. It felt like he had just laid down, like he'd gotten five minutes of sleep. But he'd probably gotten hours.

"Now look who needs sleep." He said, a tired smile on his face. Sabine whipped her head around at the sound of his voice, she hadn't heard him come in. Her expression softened when she saw him, but she was still worried. Kanan could sense her worry.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Kanan, you look terrible. You honestly have dark circles under your eyes, you look tired. Warn, even. You were gone twelve hours but look like you got ten minutes of sleep." Kanan pulled a chair to the bedside and sat next to Sabine. She looked warily into his white eyes, he never wore his visor any more.

"That's because I did. I wasn't really asleep, but I wasn't awake. I couldn't sleep, every time I closed my eyes I could only see pain and darkness." He shut his eyes in deep concentration and he heard Sabine take a deep breath. "I got it from here, Sabine, if you want to go take a nap or distract yourself in some other way." She nodded absentmindedly before standing up and stalking out of the room. She had been right, Ezra had not changed one bit.

Sometime after he had sat down and Sabine had left, he had dozed off again. He slept more soundly in Ezra's presence, his worry for him was what really kept him awake.

But his sleep then had left him in a sense of contempt similar to what he yearned. Not because it was dreamless, but because the dreams were good. The dreams were a sign, a sign Ezra was trying to share with Kanan.

And he was ready to listen.

NEXT CHAPTER OUT 3/15-17

The opening of this chapter started the second part of the story, which will last 5-10 chapters depending.  Thank you.