broken heart-strings (seer x embalmer, +more ships apparently)

twenty-four

Eli shoved his hands into his cloak as he walked. He could feel the regret sinking into his skin and taking over again when Aesop never showed up on the path. He waited for so long, Lucky waiting with him part of the time, but now it was getting dark outside. No one had come searching for him, so Eli knew what had happened. 

He's messed up so bad that they don't even care about where i am right now. God, I messed up.

Eli's head fell down, as his worried owl nuzzled into his neck to catch his attention. He didn't look up, as he angrily walked. Brooke Rose kept pressing her head into his neck until he snapped. He stopped walking, his head snapping up. 

"What?!" he snapped out. 

The owl didn't flinch, as she had seen Eli in pretty much all conditions. She flew in front of him, her beak slightly scratched his face. 

"Fuck... I'm sorry. Alright, we can get through this."

The owl purred gently, placing herself onto his shoulder again. Eli sighed, calming his steps and forcing himself to relax himself. He imagined that one time that Aesop helped him relax by rubbing his back, and just the thought of it made him relax a bit more. 

-:-:-

Stopping down the porch stairs for a few seconds suddenly felt like the best decision ever, when the door flew open and an angry Naib came storming out. 

Eli was thankfully on the bottom stair, when two strong arms came out and pushed him to the ground. 

Everything felt blurry and underwater. People were screaming, some were yelling, someone was touching Eli's fucked up body, and some more commotion the poor boy couldn't identity filled the air. 

-:-:- Eli -:-:-

When Naib's hands came up to my chest and pushed me to the ground, all control slipped from my body. Luckily, Brooke Rose flew up and got out of the way. 

Yelling, screaming, and crying filled the air outside. It made me sick. Hands flew over my body, lifting me up by the front of my shirt, but it didn't matter. It felt like that first map I had with Aesop when he saved my sorry ass. When i told him to give up and leave me. 

I felt the way I did when my fiance sent me that godforsaken letter in the mail. When she split my tired heart in two and left me there like that. Of course, I'm better off without her, and I have someone better to love, right? Right? I mean... it was official but also wasn't. What if... Aesop is just fucking with me?

I felt numb. Everything was numb as Naib shook my useless body by the front of my shirt and screamed words I couldn't hear in my face. It was wet. My face was soaked and i couldn't tell if it was the rain which was now pelting down, the spit from Naib screaming, or the steady stream of tears he couldn't feel. 

It was broken, in a happy sort of way. 

Why was no one helping him? Well... did it matter? Like, did it really? No. Of course it doesn't. Aesop never fucking cared. It was a lie. It was all a fucking lie-

"Why the fuck aren't you listening to me?! Wake up, Clark!"

My eyes flew open at the use of my last name. i could barely see Naib through my soaked blindfold and the rain. My loose grip on consciousness made my sight blend and switch in flickers with Brooke Rose's, who was flying ahead and ripping Naib's hoodie. 

She was trying to save me, though it was worthless. 

"What?!" I croaked out. It sounded so pathetic. 

"What did you do in the fucking locker?! Aesop is in Emily's bedroom with so many wounds, that it isn't even funny! Why did you leave him like that!"

"I panicked!"

"Shut the fuck up!"

The sound of skin hitting skin in a violent manner made Eli gasp out. Once again, he had been slapped across the face by someone he loves oh so dearly. More sounds came in by the second. Tracy was sobbing in the back, Emily was out here screaming, Wu Chang was yelling at Naib and even Joseph's horrified voice was in there.

But no one was helping me.

I felt useless and numb. It's all pointless anyways. It was a sick fantasy. It was all fake. None of that could've been possible. He never loved me... it was all a game. That's obvious now. 

Tears ran down my face. My ex, Aesop, Naib, Tracy, Emily, Wu Chang, Joseph-

It was all too much. 

My broken heart-strings didn't just bleed anymore, they snapped in half, everything flowing into the floor. I was dying right there in Naib's arms. 

I was sobbing now. Tears. Useless. 

I could feel myself crying. I could feel the emotion but it was too distant. 

Fuck it. I'm better off dead anyways.

Maybe hallucinogenics are the way out anyways.

-:-:-

i am so sad. so so sad. i don't know what to do. i'm so sorry. forgive me please. i don't know what im doing to myself. 

thanks for reading. thanks, my lovelies...

-Mags.....