broken heart-strings (seer x embalmer, +more ships apparently)

forty-four

Fighting was not the way he wanted out of this.

It had been about a week since Eli got fixed up, and things had been really distant between him and his lover. It was almost a cancerous feeling. He felt... dead from it all.

This was going nowhere good. It would end with sobs, broken bones, feelings of despair, and literally hopes of what can only be described as purely death.

But maybe it was inevitable.

Maybe this screaming match was something that he wouldn't have ever been able to avoid. Maybe this battle of tears and ripping the hearts they thought were healing back into hell was something that was bound to happen.

Maybe they were never meant to be.

Sobbing.

"Tell me why the actual fuck I should care! You're crying right now; oh boo-fucking-hoo! You act like you're actually important to me!"

The sobs burned in Eli's throat. It all hurt so badly, as he just prayed to whatever God might exist out there that this would stop. He didn't want this. All he did was tell Aesop that none of what happened in those woods mattered.

Then they began to fight about whether they truly loved eachother. It stung so badly. Eli just wanted to scream that he did, but this behavior from his lover probably meant... oh god.

Maybe it was just... a giant game the whole time.

I thought that for so fuvking long and finally got the idea out of my head and now he fucking..... he's done with me.

"Aesop! Shut the fuck up! You are not doing this to me right now."

"Oh, baby, we're having this talk right fucking now whether you like it or not."

No no no nononononono- THIS WASNT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN-

"God, Aesop..."

The boy was on the floor, his blindfold somewhere else in the room. He had silent tears running down his face, and he really couldn't bring himself to look up at the other.

This was a death game he probably wasn't going to win.

"Okay, so you won't tell me who fucking hurt you!? Okay. But now you're hiding other shit from me?? ELI TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK YOU WERE DOING IN JOSEPH'S ROOM-"

"WHY DOES IT MATTER?! IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT I WAS DOING! YOU ARE IN THERE ALL THE FUCKING TIME!"

Eli's throat burned roughly from all the screaming and crying. He couldn't feel anything at all but his own death coming up in his system. This wasn't going to end well.

"Eli! I have stuff going on with him-"

Eli just began to cry harder. He always had the assumption that Aesop hated him, was playing him, and was in love with Joseph. Was it... true?

"Like what?! What stuff?!"

"He gives me things that let me escape and I do shit for him to keep you safe-"

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO FUCKING DO THAT!"

Eli continued to cry, before looking down and pointing at his door.

Both felt their hearts totally drop. Aesop couldn't breathe, and Eli felt his heart going like crazy.

"Get the fuck away from me."

"Eli. We are having a  conversation."

"Well it's not one I wanna be a part of."

"Eli that doesn't matter-"

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM! GET OUT! JUST LEAVE AND LET HIM FUCK YOU SENSELESS LIKE THE COUNTLESS TIMES BEFORE!"

Aesop's blood stopped moving. Tears fell from his eyes so suddenly that he couldn't see a thing.

He wasn't being serious-

"Eli... we were trying to talk about-"

"I don't care. First, it was me not wanting to tell you why you saw me with Joseph this morning. Then, it was how you see we fight a lot and get hurt a lot because of eachother. Then, I started fucking questioning if you still love me."

Aesop was about to speak, but Eli started up once again.

"And now I know the answer! I don't have to fucking wonder anymore! So do me a favor and fucking leave my life! Get out! I don't want this anymore!"

"Don't want what?!"

"TO PRETEND THAT YOU LOVE ME EVERY FUCKING DAY JUST SO I CAN BREATHE!"

"ELI I DO LOVE-"

The brunette stood, going straight to the other. He threw his body into Aesop's as roughly as possible. The door swung open at the force, Aesop falling to the floor. Eli barely caught himself in the doorway.

He looked down at the now crying male on the floor.

Everything in him told him to apologize and fall sown beside him to hold him.

NO- BRAIN SHUT THE FUCK UP-

"Have fun with your bitch, Aesop. I never needed you anyways."

Lies.

"You can go."

Bullshit.

"Goodbye."

Please don't-

Eli slammed the door shut, ignoring every sound from outside. He was done with all this. He never wanted it anyways.

He never wanted Aesop.

He never wanted this friend group.

He never wanted any of them,

He never wanted the memories.

He never wanted tHE MATCHES.

HE NEVER WANTED TO LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE MORE THAN HE COULD REMEMBER EVER LOVING ANYONE ELSE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD-

and... he never wanted to be alive.

-:-:-

sorry for the short chapter.

sorry about everything.

sorry for existing.

thanks for reading.

-mags.