broken heart-strings (seer x embalmer, +more ships apparently)

forty-five

Okay, little disclaimer, this is gonna be quite a time skip. It might not make perfect sense at first, but it should all flow eventually and shouldn't be hard to understand. God, I'm a mess :') damn, here we go...

-:-:-

The taste of her lips would never be like what he was sickly used to. It was a familiar feeling at this point but far too unsettling for him to ever be able to enjoy it. He would never really enjoy anything again. 

How had he not noticed it all before? The way she had always looked at him, the way she talked to him and touched him, the way she just fucking was; it was all so obvious that she wanted him, yet... he never had any desire for her. 

It felt wrong.

So so fucking wrong. 

The boy sat there on his bed, the girl sitting atop of him, her legs straddling his in an uncomfortable way for the male on the bottom. He would never get used to it. Actually, he never really agreed to it all; he just... let it happen. 

He'd never really have the strength to do anything anymore.

"God, Eli, you're always so silent! It's not fair! I know you, and you're the happy one! You gotta talk to me, baby."

Eli grimaced lightly at the name. It was a horrible feeling for anyone but Naib or Aesop to call him pet names. It was so uncalled for and just made him nauseated. 

"Uhm... I apologize. I'm not in a good headspace right now, and I really don't know why you're in my room sitting on me."

The girl leaned back a bit, looking down at her lap; she bit her finger lightly like a child would, before looking back up at the boy. 

"Well, you see, I like you a lot. And I've been kissing you when I get the chance, and you've never pulled away! We're pretty close! I thought... that you..."

Eli sighed gently, his hand going up to her waist. He had to force it, as he really didn't want to, but he placed his hand right on her hips like Aesop would've to him. It took effort, but he had enough will power to make it look easy. 

"I know. I know what you think. I know how you've felt. I'm sorry about everything."

Eli looked up at her through his blindfold. Brooke Rose wasn't even in the room anymore. She had gone to see someone else, and it hurt him all over to know it was probably Naib or Aesop. God... those were people he didn't have anymore because of his reckless behavior. It was heartbreaking, but it was his fault; he'd have to just get over it. 

A thought crossed his mind. It hurt his body to even think it, but maybe it was the only option.

I lost all the people I had left because of what I fucking said. I've pushed them all away. Fuck... Maybe I just... maybe I should go for this. I don't love her, but maybe having someone at least there with me will make it alright.

god, eli, you fucking bitch-

Eli grabbed his blindfold, quickly taking it off. He had never showed anyone but his close friends what his face really was. It wasn't because he was insecure, it was just a secret that felt special. 

The girl gasped gently, her hand coming up and rubbing his soft face. She had never seen it before, but it was just as beautiful as she could've imagined. Eli couldn't force himself to smile, so he just looked at her softly. 

God, suck it up and fucking do it. 

"F-Fiona..." 

Fuck. The name was so unnatural in his mouth, so he could only spit it out in a harsh stutter. The girl didn't seem to notice. 

Eli wasn't sure he'd be able to do it. It honestly hurt him to even think about, but honestly, was there a choice at all? Was there any way that he could actually stop now? Fuck this...

Eli grabbed the girl's face between his hands, pulling her forward. He had never kissed hr back when she kissed him, let alone kissed her first. He pulled their faces together, connected their lips a little too harshly. Fiona's headpiece fell to the floor in the process, but she didn't seem to care. She wrapped her arms tightly around the boy's neck, trying her hardest to make the kiss deeper. 

Eli tried to resist, but finally came to the conclusion that it would just turn out really bad, so he let it happen. Her eagerness reminded him of himself with a certain someone. It was almost sickening to feel.,

Is this how Aesop felt every single fucking time? Oh god.

Eli let his hands fall down to her waist, copying what Aesop would do. All he knew, was Aesop faked loving him, and I guess that was alright. It's been a long while since he spoke to any of them anyways,. 

Sometimes... you just have to get over shit. 

When they pulled away, Eli fought the urge to wipe his mouth. Her lips and tongue tasted of lemon and summertime grass. It was... strange. Eli knew that he would never be able to pull this off, and really, it was horrible. 

"Oh my god! What was that?!" the girl asked in a chirp, still holding onto Eli. 

"The taste of death itself, my love."

-:-:-

Okay boys, I am sorry about not updating in awhile. Life has been stressful, but I mean, here I am, still going and shit. y a y 

Anyways, thank you all so much for reading! I appreciate you all and all the support you give! jvksgjf t h a n k  y o u ! If you liked the chapter, feel free to vote and comment to tell me what you though. Thank you so much, my lovelies! See you in the next chapter.

-Mags++