Golden (rewrite)

2

You heard the 'cow bells' ring. That means Mike wants a meeting with everyone.

You, Karen, Linda and Tony bolted (Karen just slowly shuffled) towards the office.

Once everyone is inside, Mike began speaking.

"So, as you all know, (y/n) has been working with us for a year now. Congrats for not dying from a stroke!" He clapped his hands. Soon, everyone joins in.

"Well, I am 'bout to have one if you don't hurry the hell up." You snarkily replied.

"I got a surprise for ya!" You raised an eyebrow. He showed you a picture from his phone.

"Wow! Thanks for the free smartphone, boss!" You were about to snatch it out of his hand but he slapped yours away.

"No, you damn sewer rat! Im tellin' you to look at the picture." You scrunched your nose at him.

"Well you could'a just tell me in the first place..." you grumbled and brought your face closer to the screen.

"Autograph signing by... Lane- Lane...ate Vol Ass?" You furrowed your eyebrows. "That's a nice picture. So are you gonna give me that phone or what?" Your eyes glimmer at it.

Linda gasped behind you. "You don't know who Lanette is?!" Horror was written on her face.

"He's an... autographer? I guess? Instead of taking other people's photos, he takes pictures of himself?" You shrugged.

"He... is an international... celebrity..! Everyone here is... a fan of him..." Karen wheezed out.

"Then I'm not everyone. Cause I have no idea who he is. Unless he's like a porn star. Heh heh— ow!" Tony kicked you in the shin.

"Ya Jerk!" He yelled, shaking your shoulders vigourously.

"Stop it, Tony! Cut them some slack, they became stupid after years of crack abuse." Mike grabbed his arm. You took a minute to catch your breath.

"Damn! What's the big hoo-ha bout this guy?" Tony lets go and you dusted yourself off.

"(Y/n), it is our tradition to reward our employees that—"

"—are still alive and workin' with us after a year." Tony cuts in. Mike nodded his head in agreement.

"And my reward is? That smartphone?" You pointed at Mike's gadget.

"No! We're bringing you to Lanette's autographing session! Pamper yourself and git an autograph from the man himself!" You frowned.

"Hey, I'm not a fan of him. How is gettin' a shitty signature from him a reward for me?" You crossed your arms.

"If it ain't a reward for you, it's a reward for us." Tony jabbed you in the forehead. "We get to see Lanette in person."

"Besides, (y/n). If you're lucky enough to grab an autograph, you can sell it for um... a little over Ten thousand dollars—"

"Sold! When are we going?" You cut Linda off, a huge grin appears on your face.

—
"Oh holy shit." You massaged your forehead as you watch a massive crowd of people from all walks of life queue up. "Man, there's gotta be thousands of them—"

"Millions!" Linda perked up.

You grimace as you watch some of his fans set up tents. "Damn... and I gotta wait till the line's over?"

The four of them nodded.

The rest of the gang is queueing up behind you, overdressed with Lanette Vol Aresse's merchandice. It was awkward to see a middle age man like Mike wearing a t-shirt with a handsome, androgynous, young man's face on it.

Tony, Linda and Karen wore the same shirt. They even wore a baseball cap that has "I WILL DIE FOR LANETTE" embroidered on it. You? You felt underdressed.

You don't have a single merchandice about him. "Why the hell am I gettin' glared at...?"

"Here, wear this." Tony gave you a badge. It has Lanette's face on it.

"What for?" You turned it around to inspect it.

"You gotta blend in, dumbass! You stick out like an erect penis, just look at all the stares you're getting!" He half-yelled. You sighed and pinned it on your slightly stained, white shirt.

—
Turns out, the session is only starting three days later. "What!? Is he really that hot!?" You asked Linda as she sets up her own camp. She gleefully nodded.

"Yep! People are willing to give up everything just to have him throw a glance in their direction."

"What... I don't... I don't get this." You shook your head in disbelief. "Is he even in America?" You continued.

"Nope! His private jet is landing here tomorrow. Oh, I can't wait to see him in person again..." Linda's face became dreamy.

"Wait, you've seen him before?" You asked.

"Yeah! Lanette's autograpy session is like an annual event that we CAN'T miss." Her face became stern.

"Whoa there, I ain't got nothin' against him." You raised your hands.

"That's good!" She's back to her usual cheery self.

"So um. What should I expect? Will I get beaten up by a veteran fan?" You rubbed your arm.

"Most likely, yeah. See those ambulances there? They're here for a reason." You craned your head up and saw at least a dozen of ambulance trucks.

"That's crazy—"

"Also, you'll be patted down and scanned for any weapons before entering the 'Lanette room'. Only one person at a time can enter and he can choose whether to give you an autograph or not. If he does not like your vibe, his bodyguards will automatically kick you out." Your jaw dropped in shock.

"Isn't it cool? Breathing in the same air as Lanette himself!" She squealed excitedly.

"They're treating him like the goddamn president. What's this place anyways?" You stood on your toes to get a better look at the building.

"Oh, Lanette built this building... heh heh, built this building..." she started giggling.

"—sorry about that, he um... established this building specifically for this big event."

"So he forked out a million to build another white house... just to sign some papers? What a dream." You placed your hands on your head.

"Yep!"