"Tony, I am so screwed. Screwed in the ass." You leaned against the backrest of your favourite bench. Your ancient phone pressed against your ear.
"Well, whatever it is, it gotta be better than being hated by Lanette..." Tony was still sulking about it.
"Yeah... the thing is—" you gulped and laughed nervously.
"I uh... went off on him. I didn't throw hands, but he was bein' such a bitch I had to give him a lil kick in his pride to shut him up." You heard Tony gasp in horror.
"You kicked him in the nuts!?" He yelled. Your eye twitched.
"No, you dumb broom face! I told him off!" You retorted.
"What— damn, he must have done some stupid shit huh? But just how? How are you immune to him? How did you get the guts to tell someone really powerful and hot off?" You sighed.
"Okay Tony, let's say, I'm an asshole—"
"You're already one, yeah." Tony cuts you off, you could hear him giggling on the other side.
"Shut yer trap, okay back to the main topic. So I'm this asshole, I told you that your life choices are shit and I'm gonna force you to live a life that I think is the best. Callin' you stupid when you disagree with me. What are ya gonna do?" Tony went silent for a while.
"Tony?" You asked.
"Oh sorry, I was just lookin' for my trusty bat to beat the shit outta ya the next time I see ya." Tony replied after a long pause.
"Exactly, imagine that comin' from Lanette." Tony lets a 'huh!?' escape from his mouth. You sighed and explain everything that happened this morning, from the pleasant breakfast to the point where you threw the cheque in his face.
"Now tell me, Tony. What would you do?" You asked him again.
"Oh, man... I um, err..." Tony has a hard time replying to that. He loves Lanette, it's his idol. However, he's disappointed that the star would insult your life choices and forced you to live a life that you did not want.
Moreover, Lanette calling you delusional for telling him that you're happy with the life you have right now is too offensive for him to ignore.
Tony sympathise with you because he went through that degradation before. Especially when he finally mustered up the courage to leave his toxic husband. Many people called him crazy and idiotic just because he chose to ditch his 'perfect' ex and join Mike's run-down Motel Motel.
Tony found that no amount of explaining can convince them that his choice is the best for him. So he gave up and sever all ties, including his parents.
But he felt much better being with Mike, Linda and you. No one ever made him feel worthless or terrible although there is usually a fair amount of physical maltreatment (especially from you). He felt like he belongs, he felt like he's home, he felt comfortable in his own skin... He felt loved. Unlike living with his tyrannical ex.
Tony shuddered at the memory.
"Are ya sure we're talking about the same Lanette here?" Tony was hoping that it wasn't.
"Yes! He's a damn prick!" You exclaimed.
"Well... um, I mean... that's really, really bad. Err... oh boy, this is kinda a lot to take in..." Tony has mixed feelings towards Lanette now.
"Man, I am in deep shit right now. If he rats out to the world about what happened between us, I gotta start all over again. I'm gonna have a bounty over my head and the cops probably won't care about my safety. Maybe they'll even join in!" You complained to Tony.
YOU ARE READING
Golden (rewrite)
HumorYou're an ex drug addict and a struggling survivor in the illegal, underworld. You wanted to make a 180 degree turnaround on your life, so you had some help finding a stable job. Life seems to move smoothly, but you never expected an international c...