Not Another Teen Pregnancy Story

Chapter Seventeen: Little Girl

I fell asleep on the couch in my dad's arms, which felt amazing. I loved that I could hear his heartbeat as my head rested on his chest. It reminded me of when I was a little girl and I used to get scared, so I would run down the stairs, to mt dads office, and sure enough he would be there. That was right after my mom died and my nightmares were happening every night. I used to try and pretend like nothing scared me for my dad's sake, but the truth was that everything scared. My nightmares weren't about the boogie man or some masked man: they were about everyday things.

Like death.

I was scared out of my mind about death.

My mom had died in a freak accident; we were at the mall and some teenagers had stole some things. But when the mall cop tried to apprehend them, they pulled out a 9mm and shot in the direction of him. Unbenonced to them they shot my mom who was buying me and my father Christmas presents. They were later caught and charged with murder: they hadn't even realized they shot (little lone killed) anyone. I never held it against them, but I hated life for the one single incident that ruined my life.

And now I'm pregnant and a teenager, another single incident had plagued my life. But my son was not the same as my mom dying at a mall.

I used to blame myself because she had been in the toy section looking for a Sally Preston doll that I demanded on having. No other doll would have sufficed. My dad made sure I got it, but when I did I started crying and he took it back. Looking back on it now, I really wanted the doll, but I wouldn't let myself have it because I couldn't have my mom.

Even now to this day I still cry about the gaping hole in my chest from the absence of a mother. I miss her, even when I only knew her for a brief time. But I still think about her every day and that feeling never goes away. I hate the term, "when you lose someone" because you don't really lose that person, the memories are always there and that feeling of them their smile, smell, laugh, that stuff never truly goes away. It might fade as your mind ages and new things fill it, but they are always there. My mom is always there.

~~~

When I wake up I realize I was suppose to call Daniel after I told my dad. Whoops. I dial his number. It only rings twice before he picks up.

"Hi. Oh my God are you okay? You are right because I've been worried all night, but then I thought that maybe you didn't tell him if you didn't call me and that you wouldn't want to talk if you didn't tell him, and--

"Pick me up. I told him and it's all good. Let's go to school." I grabbed a muffin from the kitchen counter and headed to the shower.

"I'm kinda in your driveway." There was slight embarrassment in his voice, but most of it was filled with protective curiosity. It felt nice to have someone watching out for me. Butterflies attacked my stomach.

"What? For how long?" I stopped mid-stride.
"All night?" He answered shyly. I walked back to the front door and motioned for him to come inside. He jogged up to me, grabbed me in a hug, and for a split second I wasn't worrying about anything. I was basking in his love, our love, and the bliss of all of it. But then reality sunk in and I pulled away.
"You can use the downstairs bathroom. There's food in the fridge too if you're hungry, I'm going to take a shower." I started to turn away, but he pulled me back.
"Give me a kiss." I couldn't help but smile. I gave him a quick peck on the lips and then finally took my shower.
~~~
When we finally got to school the knots in my stomach had tripled. I was showing through my clothes now, and wearing baggy sweatshirts and t-shirts was starting to draw more attention. So today I wore one of the maternity tops that Daniel's mom had bought me and I told myself I didn't care what people thought. My best friends knew and they were by my side, plus obviously Daniel was ready to tell the world. Everyone was waiting on me.
I knew what the rumors were.
I knew what people were thinking, and today I was finally going to set them straight.
That I was pregnant and Daniel was the father.
Just thinking that out loud brought me nearly to tears. It wasn't like I was ashamed of it or upset about having a baby because I had come to terms with that weeks ago. It was what other people were going to think and say. I didn't want anyone talking bad about my baby.