Chapter 10 Twisted conflict

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Authors note: I will be going back and fixing grammar and tidying up the writing of past chapters. English isn't my strong suit. Please leave a comment if you like this so far it really helps me stay motivated to keep writing this!!

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Hux's eyes bore deep bags, dark and accentuating his already sharp features. Exhausted didn't do justice to what he felt. Several failed raids and news of building rebel forces made him look bad and he suffered rumors of his incompetence daily.

To say this made him angry was an understatement, he refused to let his image or army presence fall. This made others much more scared of him keeping distance as it was clear he could snap at any moment. Every lieutenant that delivered news received glares that threatened to turn them to ash.

Worse yet the dreams now were more vivid and exhausting. His fathers words breathed down his neck memories as a young boy prickling at his pride.

"Stupid boy. Not even capable of a simple order. You really are your mothers bastard."

He wished more than ever that he had seen his fathers death with his own eyes. But he had not. And now regretted it greatly wishing a cease to his words. He proved his father wrong. And he would again and again if he had to refusing po feel his weight on himself any longer. Even in death.

His shoulders ached as now when he slept his body tensed in anger and irritation leading to stiff muscles. To which he did his best to ignore and had medical droids deal with. But they could only do so much. The pain he could ignore. Even his father he could handle having comfort in knowing he was dead.

But he couldn't ignore her. Every night flashes of her lips and soft eyes filled his mind. It disgusted him. Yet they beckoned and even smiled giving him some semblance of relief and comfort. Which gave him guilt and anger. He didn't want some filthy thing to ever have any semblance of control over him.

HE was General Armitage Hux leader of the First Order. Something as petty as male urges and stress were nothing to him. He wouldn't let it. The idea of his emotions and instincts putting him in such a state humiliated himself towards himself. Weakness. It was nothing but sheer weakness that he swore he wouldn't let show.

Eventually an officer was murdered for even insinuating that he looked tired. The bridge was deathly quiet.

"DOES ANYBODY ELSE WANT TO QUESTION THEIR LEADERS STRENGTH?"

Nobody did.

Except for her.

She whispered soft to him in a voice he couldn't hear as she didn't have one but could sense.

"Oh Armitage so tired aren't you? Its alright."

Her embrace was warm and hands gentle, soothing away his worries. They smoothed over his sore shoulders encouraging his eyes to close and body to relax. So he did and he enjoyed it figuring she was just some figment of his brain trying to deal with his stress. She was the only attractive woman he ever saw that wasn't working under him.

With that relaxation came immense irritation and guilt desperately wanting it to end and give him peace in his own rigid unfeeling ways but also wanting it ti continue giving him some form of escape from it all. The conflict between desire and hate only fueled each side as he began to feel like he was going to go insane.

One night he refused to sleep not because of the dreams but because of an entire fleet of troopers being ambushed and wiped out under his watch. Sheer rage led to him staying up late remodeling the entire schematics of the Trooper conditioning program deciding to blame the loss on faulty soldiers.

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