Finding Myself

Valentine's Day Part 1

The next morning I woke up to the smell of bacon and pancakes. I smile thinking of my lovely boyfriend Nick. I get up and straighten out my clothes not realizing where I was yet. I walked downstairs expecting to see Nick but instead I see a tall very muscular boy standing in his place. I rub my eyes as my head floods of memories from last night. I wince trying to hold myself together.

Last night:
We finally made it to Noah's. I still felt numb and felt as if it didn't really happen. We walked inside and I wandered to the couch falling onto it and stared blankly at the tv.

"What happened" Noah whispers to my best friends "we went to Nick's and it didn't go so well" I hear Piper say "but I'm sure she will tell you everything when she's ready. We just thought we can maybe stay and watch a movie and try to cheer her up"

I hear all of this and I just start to break down tears rolling out uncontrollably. I feel all three of them sit down and start to console me. My body trembling. I hated people see me like this but I couldn't control it.

After I calmed down a bit we watched frozen I just sat and stared at the tv. I didn't know what to feel or how to feel. I just felt numb. Soon after the movie was over the girls got up kissing me on the head telling me they love me and telling Noah to take good care of me. He promised he would.

He scooped me up in his arms and layed me on his bed tucking me in. I just stayed quiet. As he pulled me into a warm embrace and I finally drifted off into a saddened sleep.

Present day:
Once all the memories flood back I fall to my knees crying again. Noah turned around and ran to my side kneeling next to me. I started hyperventilating. Starting to have a panic attack. I haven't had one in awhile but these last couple days have been all to much.

"hey hey hey Brianna look at me sweetheart" he says softly looking into my eyes. I try to turn my gaze to him "breath baby girl breath. Focus on my breathing and my heartbeat" he says holding me close to his chest. I listen to his heartbeat carefully and focus on his breathing eventually calming down. I wipe my tears.

"I'm sorry Noah" I stay standing up. He shakes his head standing up as well "Brianna don't apologize. You did nothing wrong. You don't deserve this" I sigh "but maybe I do Noah maybe I fucking do" I say throwing my hands in defeat he grabs me softly pulling me into a hug I hesitate to hug him back but eventually I do. "Bri please don't say that" I sigh shakily and hold him for a bit. When we smell burning coming from the kitchen. "Shit" he mumbles letting me go running to the kitchen. I walk behind him and giggle "oops" I say softly

"Man it's all burnt. I wanted to do something nice for you and I messed it up damnit" he says under his breath "Noah it's fine. It's technically my fault. We can just go to that diner"

He sighs "fine go get dressed but I'm taking you out to more then just the diner. You deserve a good Valentine's day" I nod in agreement going upstairs to find something of his sister's I find a cute little pink dress I smile and grab it going to shower. I was still in pain and confused as hell but Noah was helping with it.

After my shower and putting the dress on. I brush out my hair and use the toothbrush I used last time. I go into the room and find Noah in a black button up and some jeans I smile. He was pretty damn hot.

"Hey Noah" I smile he looks over at me and his jaw drops "you look stunning Brianna" "it's your sisters I hope she doesn't mind. But I really need to go shopping since I am not going back to that horrible place. That bitch can have my shit" he laughs softly and nods "okay we will go eat then I will take you shopping sweetheart."

He was so much nicer then Nick. I thought Nick and I had a good relationship but I always bought my own stuff and he hardly paid for our dates. Which we only went on a handful of dates. We spent most of our time in his bedroom. I cringe at knowing he took my virginity. "Hey Noah?"

"Yes sweetie?" He smiles at me "do you mind if we don't use or talk about the N word today? I just want to forget. Maybe later tonight I'll tell you about it" he nods "okay we can talk about what happened when your ready." I nod smiling at the perfect man "ready?" He nods. He grabs his wallet and I throw on my heels and grab my pocket book. Heading out the door. He opens the car door for me. And we take off towards the diner.