Him // payton moormier

chapter 5: Payton

    i'm hovering over Avani, panting. I'm watching her as her chest rises and falls as she tries to catch a breath. A sheet of sweat, lines her forehead and her makeup is slightly smudged across her face.

"God, Payton"

"What?"

"That was fucking incredible." her lips part into an exhausted smile.

yeah, if you haven't caught on yet, we just fucked.

I roll off her onto my back, "Well" I smirk, "I am the fucking god of-"

"Don't be cocky, please."

"Okay, okay" I laugh, but i'm honestly a little pissed, she knows how much i love to gas myself.

I look at Avani admiring my handy work. Her lips are swollen from the pressure I forcefully applied to her lips as i kissed her. Everytime she moves she winces, letting me know she's sore.

I look down at my chest to see it's lined with red scratch marks and hickeys along my neck, as well as hers. If anyone knows how to pleasure me it's Avani.

Seriously it's the only thing she's good for.

Because she's sweating, she has damp strands of hair across her face. I brush it back and bring my lips to hers. She reacts immediately, wrapping her legs around my waist and grinding her crotch on mine, it feels good but i'm already finished with her.

I look at the clock on my dresser, 4:00, I have shit to do.

I pull back as she's kissing my jawline. I must've been smirking because she asks, "What's so funny?"

I gesture towards the clock on my dresser, "Are we really about to go for round two?" I chuckle

"I guess not" she says obviously disappointed as she picks up her clothes off of my floor, actually pissed.

I resist the urge to roll my eyes, "Avani i didn't mean it like that."

It's literally just sex, i don't know why she's so fucking pressed.

"I know," she says giving me a reassuring smile, "anyway I'm glad I got to spend quality time with you, when will i see you again?"

What? "At school...?" that's a no fucking brainer

She rolls her eyes, "Alone Payton"

"Whenever I'm free." I lie, usually I call her for a quick fuck before I find something actually important to do.

"Okay"

Then she legitimately blushes. I frown, what the fuck is her deal?

"Yeah..." I say giving her a small, fake smile as I pull up my boxers

Suddenly, I hear her shift next to me but before i could turn around, she embraces me in a tight
hug. The gesture would have been nice if i even remotely liked her but I don't. In fact I can't stand her at the moment because her hands are on my back. I immediately jump back at the contact, scrambling away from her before she can even think of touching me again. Terror begins to run through my veins. Suddenly tears begin to form in the back of my eyes. I turn away and blink furiously so they don't spill over. My body is trembling so I stand up and lean against my dresser. Right now, I'm not worried about Avani touching me. I'm worried about her knowing how much is affects me negatively.

She's clearly confused, "Payton-" she begins.

"Don't" I snap, blinking and wiping away the tears that have formed.

"What's wrong?" she says cocking her head to one side.

"Nothing" I say shaking my head, she knows not to fucking touch me. I shut my eyes tightly so the flashbacks don't come back.

They don't

"Sorry for hugging you" she says slowly, clearly offended by my reaction

It's not like I can help it. For as long as I can remember I've always freaked out when anyone came even remotely close to my back...and I know exactly why. Actually there's a lot of reasons but I'm not going to get into that, it's too dark.

"It's not that...I'm fine." I manage to compose myself. That's one thing I'm really good at: making it seem like I'm okay when I'm really not. It's easy to hide your emotions when no one cares to know how you feel in the first place. I've grown numb, in fact it's gotten to the point where I don't even know if I have a heart anymore.

Avani has been staring at me for a long time that it's become weird. "Payton I have to tell you something" she says quietly, her voice shaking.

I nod, turning from her gaze because it's starting to feel uncomfortable. As I pull on my shirt she looks at my torso momentarily then back up to my eyes.

"I think i'm in love with you."

I feel my heart skip a beat, actually I feel it drop to my stomach, dread filling the empty space in my chest. Behind me I grip onto my dresser because it feels as if my world is about to slip out from under me. That literally came out of nowhere, I'd never expect her to say something like that.

I kind of knew it though. I knew it before she even told me. I knew she had some sort of feelings for me, judging by the way she's been acting towards me recently and I hate it. I can take other girls feelings for me because their just one-and-done so I can take their relentless texts and shit, but Avani? She's my only consistent fuck that felt the same way as I did towards her: no feelings at all.

Until now, it's over for us. The more I fuck her, the more she'll fall for me. That's the last thing I want. There goes the only girl that I thought would never catch feelings for me.

"What?" I say because that's all the comes out of my mouth. Jesus fucking christ why would should drop a fucking bomb like that on me?

She stares at me with terrified eyes, "I said I think-"

"Fuck, I heard what you said!"I say loudly. I didn't mean to yell, I'm just shocked. I can't believe I didn't see that coming. This bitch is so predictable it's ridiculous.

"You don't have anything to say to me?" she looks hurt. Her brows are furrowed in confusion.

"I-" I sigh, "I'm sorry" I really have nothing to say to her. She wants me to say I think i'm in love with you too. I'm not though I don't even remotely have a crush on her.

"Hunter-" she says practically in tears. I can't fucking deal with this, the crying, the neediness, I can't fucking stand it.

I rub my lips together, carefully choosing my words, "Avani-" I shake my head at her, "you know the agreement we had at the beginning of this, we said we wouldn't do the whole...the whole heart and flowers shit"

"Yeah and you also said to tell one another if one of us does catch feelings" she counters

"Yeah well I didn't think it would ever happen." I snap

The hurt look on her face shifts to anger, "Seriously, you know what? Fuck you, I'm leaving."

she grabs her sweater storming out of my room, slamming the door

I sit on my bed, my head aching from what just happened. The worst thing is, I don't even feel guilty about it. She knows i'm not the person to "love" even if I wanted to be

God what kind of person does that make me?

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