The Budding Roses

Return from Patheticville

Tuesday 1st February
'Stop it Liam, let go of me! I need to talk to Harry; he's got something important to say.' I dragged myself away from Liam's hand which was clasped about my struggling arm and ran in to the lobby, knowing that this was my final chance. If I can't find the courage now, then I'll be forever tormented with the knowledge that only I am to blame for failing to steer my life towards the destiny that I desire. 'Wait, Harry, please don't go, you need to stay and tell me the truth, you need to say it!'
As Harry turned to face me, his eyes betraying what his words were not willing to say, I struggled with the impulse to grab at the loose collar of his shirt and pull his body towards me. Predictably, as Harry accepted defeat and made the realisation that I am the only girl for him after all, I woke up.
For a moment I felt happy. Did it really happen? But the misery came swarming back, smacking me hard in the face; it was just a dream, just wishful thinking. Harry still doesn't love me. I need to accept this and get on with my life, but I just don't see how this can this happen when I can't even stop crying. Oh how I am crying now, again, and it's only the start of the day. Stop with this Simone, stop with this crying; get up, get dressed and make yourself look gorgeous. Forget about these horrible boys and go out and achieve all that you deserve.

Thursday 2nd February
I'd like to pretend that I haven't just wasted the best years of my life behaving like a vapid, boy chasing, hair straightening flake, and have instead put my youth to good use, crafting an adult self rich in character and living a life of excitement and intrigue. But that would be a lie. And if we're being honest, it would be a lie for you too, right? Please tell me that you're lying too, that you messed up, and spent too long living in what could feasibly be a bad episode of Dawson's Creek; a life filled with too much introspection, procrastination and not really getting anywhere for your efforts? Please tell me that this is true, that it's not just me?

Friday 3rd February
Enough is enough. Here I am, a complete disgrace, what with my red eyes, snot stained jumper and greasy hair. No wonder Harry dumped me. It's time to get on with my life and the first thing I must do is get washed. I will apply my make-up perfectly, I shall wear the hottest ensemble that fashion has to offer, and I shall use my stiletto heel to stamp Harry Styles in to the dog dirt sprayed ground where he belongs. I'll show you; "I want a man, not a boy who thinks he can". That's what The Spice Girls keep telling me, and so I'm just going to have to start listening to them, ker pow!
'Nice skirt,' Niall Horan yelled, as I walked in to the Common Room.
'Who are you trying to impress dressed like that, I didn't realise that we were at a nightclub?' Why thank you for your kind words of encouragement, dear friend Natasha, and actually no, I'm not trying to impress anyone apart from myself and I'm definitely not trying to gain the attentions of Mr Harry Styles. Never would, never will.
I felt strong all day, full of defiance, confident that when the time came I would cause him to shatter, and with just one look in to my glimmering eyes he'd realise that it was too late, that he had made a grave mistake. Oh why can't it work like that, why must I be so pathetic? I could walk an A grade in A Level Pathetic-ness and gain instant entry to the University of Patheticville, for the instant I saw him of course I choked, my eyes burning as I ran to the toilet, unable to leave until the bell rang.