All I Need [SasuHina]

Chapter 17

-Sasuke-

'It's too bad though, that you chose differently'.

That phrase was the only thing in my head right now. It hasn't gone away since I woke up. Even now as Suigetsu shakes me like a rag doll while spitting out a string of curse words at me. That one phrase is the only thing that continues to register inside my mind.

"What the hell were you thinking Sasuke?" Suigetsu yelled at my face.

"He clearly wasn't" Karin retorted from the corner of the room with her arms crossed against her chest. She glared at me with such venom, that for a second, I felt intimidated. I really must have lost it if a single glare like that affected me.

I told them about what happened on that day, from the moment they left to capture the eight tails Jinchuriki to when I fought Itachi up to the moment I sunk my sword into Hina's body, when I killed her. I can recall that exact moment when she looked up at me whilst a sword still in her body. I stabbed her and she was still so kind to smile at me. Her smile, the smile that I had grown so fond of now haunted me along with the phrase that has stuck in my head since the second I woke up. Even after everything I said and did to her, she still smiled as if she didn't blame for what happened. She was the one who jumped in front of me, but still I could have or should have stopped before even piercing her.

"Hina devoted herself to you and this is how you say thanks? By shoving a sword through her!" Suigetsu got louder and louder.

I know... I know. I want to tell him that but how can I? I feel like there's a hole in my heart. I thought that Hina was just someone I could use so why do I feel like I just lost a piece of myself. Like when I killed Hina, I also killed a part of me.

"Then what? You just left her there? Why wasn't she brought with us. She's one of us isn't she?" Suigetsu continued. He seemed the most frustrated out the three of them, but what I was more concerned with was the fact that Juugo hasn't said a single word this entire time.

My eyes met with his, his orange eyes were dark and there was something darker lingering behind them, but I couldn't place what it was.

I turned away from them, my hair shading my eyes. "Let go".
That was apparently the wrong thing to say because Suigetsu's face contorted with rage and pulled me closer to him. "That's all you have to say! What the hell Sasuke!"

"That's enough Suigetsu let him go". Juugo stood up, placing his hand on the white haired male's shoulder. "Sasuke just woke up. He needs rest". Juugo turned to Karin who simply nodded and dragged Suigetsu out of the room. He kept protesting but it didn't stop Karin from leaving the room with him. Juugo followed after them with one last glance at me he exited the room and closed the door. I was left alone in the room.

The room seemed so big and empty without anybody else in it, usually Hina would be sitting right beside and fretting about my wellbeing and health. I chuckled as I thought back to all the times when I would get injured during training or on those rare occasions of during a missions. Hina wouldn't move from my side and would take care of me. I heard a rumbling and turned to the window. Rain was falling hard as if the heavens is dumping buckets of water over the village.

I thought I knew what I wanted, but now I'm not so sure. After meeting Hina, everything that I thought I knew was now something unknown. I feel so lost right now. What am I supposed to do now? I'm not sure. The only thing I'm sure of right now is that I'm numb. I have no feeling, no emotions, nothing.

Everything has lost its meaning, now that I killed Hina. That fact weighs extremely heavily on my conscious. It's difficult for me to breathe as if a hundred ton cement block was dropped on top of my chest. 'It's too bad though, that you chose differently'. That phrase again invades my mind, I don't understand it.
What the hell did I choose differently?