Urban Divinity

10

The glass plates clinked softly against each other as I set them on the table quietly, soft hums leaving my lips as I made my way around the kitchen.

The door opened quietly, "I'm home!" Alicia yells out as she kicks off her shoes. Her hands slowly rub at her heels as a pained frown paints her face. I don't hesitate to walk to the cabinet and grab an Advil, "How was work?" I give her a small smile as she takes it gratefully. She pops it in her mouth before swallowing hard, "Long and hard. I'm ready to quit." She grumbles as she makes her way to the kitchen with me not far behind.

"I'm sorry.. Well I made dinner." I point to the stove then the table with a smile. "I made stuffed peppers!" Her eyes widen slightly as the looks at her plate, "Anything to go with it?" She sits down with a small smile, "I could go for some wine and maybe some salad.." She gives me a pointed look and I nod my head quickly before grabbing her favorite wine and the bowl of salad on the counter.

She takes the wine with a smile before popping the top off, "Smells amazing.." She sighs contently before pouring some in her glass. I take a seat across from her and scoop up a forkful of food, happy to get some food in my tummy as usual.

"So what did you do today?" She looks up at me from the rim of her glass, "I hope something productive." I nod my head quickly, "I went looking for jobs and Dion suggested one close to the apartment so I-" "Dion?" She cuts me off, her lips dropping to a frown. I nod my head, "Yes. Our neighbor.." She hums softly before taking a long sip.

"B-But I plan to go over tomorrow with my resume.. like you said." I look down at my plate but could still feel her eyes on me. "What's the job he suggested?" Her voice had a slight edge, making my inch back into my chair, "A secretary.." I mumble and she nods her head. "You have to talk to people." She swirls her glass slowly before taking a long sip.  She refills her cup, "Are you able to do that?" I nod my head quickly, "Dion said I can do it.. I'm trying not to doubt myself." I smile meekly and she eyes me for a moment before finishing her glass.

"You don't do well with people and you want a secretary job? How does that make sense?" She leans back in her chair as she motions a hand towards me, "You need a retail job where u can work in the back. It's calmer for you." I frown deeply, "I-I was hoping for this job because Dion said the environment is nice.." My voice trails off as her lips drop to a deep frown, "Why do you keep saying his name?" She snaps, "Does he tell you what to do?" I shake my head quickly, "No! He was only being a good friend." I frown deeply. Once again, she takes a long sip, her eyes calculating and dark.

"I don't like you talking to him.. You're not ready for another relationship." She spoke more to herself than she did to me. My hands fisted at my pants, "I said he's a friend." I bite back making her eyes finally snap to mine. "A friend that's going to take advantage of you and control you." Her face contorted to disgust, "You're just too innocent to see it which is why your not allowed to see him anymore. And I will be notifying your therapist." I felt like a child as she eyed me. Everything about the way she sat and looked at me screamed, "Do as I say." and for the first time in a while I felt angry.

"I'm an adult and I can do what I want with whomever I want." I scoot my chair back, "If I want to see Dion then I will! A-And if I want to get that job then I'm going to go for it!" Her eyes widened before rage twisted and swirled in her brown orbs, "Say it all you want but we both know you're going to listen to me because I'm right... and you hate that I am." She stood from her chair with a frown on her lips, her eyes boring into mine as she leaned closer, "I know what's best for you and it's to just do as I say.. It saves you from the hurt, Jocelyn." She extended her hand to touch my arm but I pull away, "You don't know what's best for me." Her hand froze.

"I don't know what's best for you? Did you really just say that to my fucking face?!" Her hand slammed against the table, making me flinch back, "Do you not remember how I found you?! What I had to do to save you?!" Her hands grabbed me hard, pulling me to her until her face was in mine, "You were damn near dead and I saved your life.. And this is how you act?" She spit, making me flinch with every stabbing wound that left her cherry colored lips, "This is how you repay me?!"

I look away, "Repay you? What am I? In some kind of debt?!" I yank myself out her grip, "And I didn't say I wasn't grateful or that I forgot.." She was fuming as she watched me.

The room was in an uncomfortable silence.

Her hand was a flash as she gripped me up, forcing me closer. Tears burned my eyes as my chest began to tighten, the world turning dark but her face remained in my vision.
Her features were contorted with rage and disgust as she eyed me, her eyes wild and unforgiving. "You really want him to hurt you too, huh? To use you and treat you like- Like-" She hesitated but I knew what word she wanted to say. We both knew how deeply it hurts me.

"Like him."

I didn't realize I was out her grip until I was already down the hall and slamming my door shut. Her fists pounded relentlessly against the door, making my body jump from the force.

"Let me in, Jocelyn! I'm sorry! I-I didn't mean it!" She yells but I hold the door shut. My eyes hurt from how hard I squeezed them shut as my hands came up to cover my ears.

My breathing turned quick and short as my eyes flickered around the room.

They stopped dead on the mirror ahead of me.

There I sat in a crumpled heap. Shamefully small and weak to the world outside this door. Each slam of her fist against the white wood made the door bounce against its frame but I didn't move, every muscle in my body felt as if it turned to stone, weighing me down against the cold floor.

"Please.. Just let me in.. I'm sorry.. I didn't mean it, Lyn." Her words were soft but I knew better. She meant everything that left her lips.

She always did.

"You know I wouldn't hurt you.. Not on purpose." I look down at my wrists, swollen and bruised. Her nails left dried blood under the cuts she caused. I put my hands on my head and press my palms into my sockets, desperately trying to stop the overflow of tears but it was useless and painful.

"I'll give you some time to calm down.. I love you." She waited for a response for a minute. "I love you." She repeats before waiting once again. Her hand hits the door, "I love you." Her tone was laced with anger making me jump, "Love.. you too." My voice cracked but her feet finally retreated, leaving me alone.

In silence.