Reckless

Father, Who?

Chapter 10

There's a moment where one forgets to breathe. They forget to think. They forget everything they've done so long by themselves. People call this death...but Clarke knew, if she knew anything, that she was not dead when her eyes met his from across the camp. Her heart thumped in her chest painfully. She wanted to call his name, wanted to do a lot of things actually-but she was incapable of movement. If she were dead, though, she welcomed death because the way he looked at her made her want to die satisfied.
And when the realization of her presence dawned on him. His shoulders fell and his face distorted as if he were going to cry. She nearly ran to him, her arms wrapping around her shoulders because she didn't want to see him in pain any longer. "Clarke." He smoothed down her hair, "Clarke." He repeated, "Say something so I know it's real."
"I love you." She said, "I love you."
He started to squeeze but he released her when he saw Octavia. "O." His breath hitched when he saw his sister. He took her in his arms and looked as if he never wanted to let this moment pass. "Where were you two?" His voice sounded completely exhausted and strained. "Finn couldn't track you. It was like you disappeared."
Miller finally joined them, holding his shoulder. "We were drugged. Locked up in white rooms. Released into a group full of our friends. We fought guards. We got shot at... We can't find Lincoln. We need to get our people out and that's what happened." He said, "Oh...you asked where we were? Mount Weather."
"Mount Weather?" Bellamy asked, "There are people at Mount Weather."
"Our people are in Mount Weather. Literally. They're underground." Raven said, "We need to reunite with our grounder friends and we need to bust them out."
Clarke stopped listening to Raven and Miller after a while. She could only look at Bellamy. She could only think about her important news and the baby and how she made it out of mountain without any harm. Her eyes never left his face... he was looking back and forth between Miller and Raven until he noticed her. He smirked—telling everyone that the briefing was over. That he needed to be alone with Clarke.
There was just one problem:
Abby Griffin.
"Clarke!" She said as she collided into Clarke. It was strange out the events after that unfolded. Miller grabbed Abby's arm and gave her a slight shove off of Clarke.
"Don't squeeze her so tight!" Raven yelled.
"Fucking idiot!" Octavia wrapped up.
Abby looked at the teenagers before her, "What the hell is going on?"
It was the day Clarke figured out that her friends couldn't keep a secret. Or maybe she was the one that couldn't keep the secret because she surely said, "I'm pregnant."
But that wasn't the worst part of the situation. Miller's initial reaction would never be comparable to his next one once Abby's hand collided with Clarke's face. Clarke's eyes widened as if she were going to defend herself. Luckily, she didn't have to. Miller was going to fight her mother. He was still in war-mode—still in protect-Clarke-mode. "Let her go." Raven said, "She's not worth it, Nathan."
"Defintely not." Clarke said, eyes darkening.
"Does Finn know?"
"Excuse me?" Raven snorted, "Finn is not the father of the baby."
"Who's its father, then?"
Clarke bowed up, "Not an it. You can refer to my child by three names. Baby Clarke, personally don't prefer that one. Baby Blake, because the baby's father is Bellamy. Or Baby Octavia because she has naming rights."
Bellamy remained silent the entire time because what Clarke assumed was pure shock. "Bellamy's the father." Abby said. "You're the father of my child's child? You're 23! She's not even 18! She can't have a baby!"
"But I am." Clarke said, "You can't change that... any time you have with me while I am in this camp—consider it a gift from god because as soon as my business is done here...you will never see me again. I died the day you sent me down here. You should have mourned then." Her words were cold, "Please leave."
"She might be saying please, but I'm not." Miller said. "I will shoot you in the knee." Abby walked away in time for Miller to release a sigh. "Cannot believe I just threatened the only person able to stitch me up without making crooked lines." Clarke swatted him.
"I can do it." Octavia said, "I've got a steady hand and I think our presence is no longer required or wanted here."
Raven and Miller nodded and left, leaving Clarke to face Bellamy. "A baby? Wow..." Those were his first words. Clarke was searching his eyes for a familiar emotion but they didn't reflect anything she'd ever seen before. "I didn't think I could love you any more..."
She smiled, "So you're...?"
"Happy...shocked...amazed..." He smiled, bringing her into his arms. "A baby...wow. Baby Octavia...? I don't think so. The name can't be passed on because she's too defiant."
"Tell her that."

XXX

Clarke talked to Bellamy—not as his girl but as his partner. "We flew too close to the sun." He mused as he looked at her. Clarke sat back in a chair as he drank from a cup of not-so-fresh water. His face became crooked at the taste. She couldn't help but smirk a little at him.
"Funny because we used to live in space." Her small smile was wry. "We have to find Lincoln for Octavia...You didn't see her..." Her screams were burned into Clarke's brain. "We have to save our friends, too."
"I don't want you to go back there." He said, "I know they're our friends...but Clarke...the baby. I doubt you're going to wait months upon months before rescuing them."
"Can I show you something?" She asked him with a smile on her face, pulling the picture of their baby out of her pocket and putting it in his hand. He took one of her hands in his while he held the black and white image. He was silent for a long time.
"You're definitely not going anywhere." He laughed, "You're pregnant with my child...how did I get so lucky?"
"I don't know...you might regret those words after the story of my mental breakdown in the woods reaches you." She said, "I snapped at Raven for being a smart ass as if I'm not used to it." He kissed her hand, "I can't stay here."
"Because of your mom?"
"Because I was arrested for treason and the authority around here hates me." She said, "They killed my dad. And they don't seem too happy with you."
"They're dicks." Bellamy said, "Aren't we just a bunch of rebel parents?"
"Oh my god, we're so bad..." She leaned forward, "You know what Mount Weather didn't have? Take a guess..."
"Oh..." He nodded, "Yeah I think I know where you're going with this." He was smirking, leaning forward to meet her lips. "I don't really have anywhere to take this, though."
"They haven't given you anywhere to sleep."
"I haven't slept." He said, "I couldn't sleep without you."

XXX

Clarke barged into the medical room and looked at her mother. "Save it." She put her had protectively over her stomach. "I need somewhere to sleep." She felt like this was the last place she wanted to be but Kane hadn't listened to her when she demanded a place to sleep. She felt like someone just told her there weren't any rooms at the Inn—dammit! She was with child! She needed her sleep.
"Of course, Clarke." Abby said, "On one condition."
"What?" Clarke crossed her arms.
"Abort the pregnancy."
"Mom." Clarke said, closing her eyes. "I can't do that."
"Why not?"
Clarke shook her head, "I thought I was going to die, mom... I sat in the skybox drawing pictures of earth because that was the most beautiful thing I could distract myself with because I needed that peace before I died. Then, you sent me down here. You sent me to die... but I didn't and suddenly the peace I needed was reality except it wasn't always peaceful but I fell in love. Then, I got taken by mountain people who are psychotic at best...but I thought I was going to die again...but I heard my baby's heartbeat...and I feel—I feel so alive. And this peace is no longer conditional because it's a reality...mom, I can't do that." At this point, she was crying in front of her mother—pleading for her to understand the value of Baby Blake. "I've got everything I never thought I would have."
"You're too young." Abby was tearing up as well. "Bellamy is—"
"You don't know him." Clarke said, "You know one action he committed because of his bond with his family. He shot a man for his sister and if that doesn't scream family-man to you, I don't know what will. I trust him with my life, I trust him with my child's life... can you trust him with my life and my child's life please? Please..."
"I can't let you go." Abby said, "I've done it once I'm not doing it again."
"You can't hold on to the little girl that I was before I got arrested." Clarke said, "I grew up. I changed. I'm probably not as innocent as I used to be but I consider myself a better person. My eyes have opened."
"I see that."
"So...please don't ask me to end this pregnancy again."
"I'm your mother, Clarke." She said, "I love you. I remember when I found out I was pregnant with you—of course, I was under far different circumstances but I was so excited. I don't regret having you...and I don't regret any of my choices."
Clarke nodded, "I love you, too, but I don't like who you've become...I miss my mom. I miss my hero."
"I thought your dad was your hero..."
"You didn't see me trying to be an engineer, did you? I wanted to save lives like my mom." Clarke said softly, "And now I wish my mom would start saving lives instead of aiming to destroy them again. When do you think we'll have a place to sleep? Bellamy's tired. I'm tired. I've been shot at and seriously, baby Blake makes me tired."