Wretched Roses √

Chapter 22-Stars

Leona
I took a deep breath, arching my neck and looking up at the stars, I inhaled the air of the night. I closed my eyes and a smile crept up on my face. I reached for the bottle of whiskey next to me and took a sip out of it. The balcony floor wasn't exactly the most comfortable thing to be sitting on but I didn't mind it.

I wiped away a tear that wanted to escape my eye and looked up at the stars once again, the whiskey bottle loosely hanging in my hand. A couple of minutes went by when I heard the balcony door creek open. Freya, a blanket was wrapped around her and it looked like she was shivering.

"How are you not freezing to death?," she shivered.

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm just at a point in life where freezing to death sounds kinda tempting. Or maybe it's just because unlike a certain someone, I can actually handle a little cold," I quipped. She let out an annoyed sigh and sat down next to me on the cold ground.

"Why are you up so late?" she asked me, I could feel her staring at me but I just kept staring forward.

I ignored her question for a couple of seconds before responding. "I could ask you the same."

"Well, I asked you first didn't I?"

"Couldn't sleep." I looked up at the stars once again. Her eyes landed on the whiskey bottle next to me and she raised a suspicious eyebrow. 

"The whiskey bottle says otherwise," she pointed out.

"Ah, you got me there."

"All jokes aside, you okay?" She looked concerned.

"Just peachy," I quipped, taking yet another sip of the whiskey. I held the bottle forward to her. "Want some?," I offered.

"I'm gonna have to pass," she stated, pushing the bottle towards my chest. "Too bad," I shrugged. Just as I was about to take yet another sip, Freya grabbed my hand and lowered it from me so I wouldn't drink more.

"Hey, hey, slow down on the drinking," she took the bottle from me and I couldn't be bothered to argue with her so I just let her.

"I'm scared," I mumbled so she wouldn't hear me. A tear fell down my cheek.

"What?"

"I'm so fucking scared," I faced her and wiped away a tear.

"Why?," she questioned, by her expression I could tell she was sincere, she was worried for me.

"She's dying, Freya. And I can't help her, I don't know what to do." I choked on my words. Freya scooted closer and wrapped her arms around me, and I cried. There was no use in trying to hold in the emotions that were bottled up inside of me. The feeling of emptiness overtook me, how can you possibly prepare yourself for losing someone?

You can't. It's eating me up and every time I get a call, my heart seems to stop beating and my breathing intensifies. The world around me gets blurry and I shakily take my phone out, preparing myself for the absolute worst. I'm losing her and in return I'm losing myself on the way.

"She's getting worse," I stuttered over my words and gripped onto her harder. She's didn't say anything for a couple of minutes as she played with the strands of my hair, probably trying to figure out what to say next. What could you really even reply to something like that?

"And she's losing you. I know it hurts, but all you can do is be there for her, imagine how scary this is for her, talk to her, don't bottle up your feelings. Certainly she must have a thousand things to say to you, so please, just talk to her." I didn't respond to that, but I knew she was right. Acceptance wasn't something I could accomplish, you just can't accept something like this, but I wasn't gonna let her go through this alone, she needed me more than ever and I needed her as well.

"She's my best friend, I don't what I'll do without her." I leaned my head on her shoulder and glanced up at her in despair. My bottom lip was quivering slightly and I could just feel my eyes fill up with water that desperately wanted to drip out. I closed my eyes and let a tear gracefully fall down my cheek, before letting out a shaky breath. She pulled me into a tight hug, and for minutes we just sat there, enjoying the presence of each other, not daring to break this, somewhat, peaceful silence. I believe she understood that I didn't wanna talk, simply her presence was enough to help me, with this sense of overbearing solitude that was consuming me.

"I'm sorry," I whispered before I let the exhaustion overtake me, causing me to fall into a slumber, right there in her arms, once again. "For what?," I heard her whisper before I fell asleep.

Freya
The last thing I heard her whisper was "I'm sorry." I gave her a quizzical look before whispering back. "For what?" But by the time the words came out of my mouth, I could tell the brunette was already asleep. Her chest was slowly rising and her breathing seemed to slow down ever so slightly. She looked at peace as the delicate moonlight painted a perfect picture of her gentle face lost in the world of dreams.

It made me wonder what was going on in that mind of hers, I felt the need to know, I wanted to help her. Yet, I felt so useless, not knowing what to do or even say to help her. In the end you can't change the inevitable. I just wanna see her genuinely happy. It didn't matter how many times the brunette pulled her close and whispered into her ear that she was fine, frankly, it wasn't difficult to look past her facade. Her amber eyes hid a much darker truth.

But no, I don't believe she's lying when she says she's fine. She's masked her despair behind the facade she put up for herself ever since those haunting words came out of her sister's mouth. Maybe she got to the point where she's starting to believe the lies she's pushed into hers and other's brains. Or maybe, she wants it to be true so badly she's actively trying to trick herself into believing her own lies. Maybe she doesn't believe her own lies, but she desperately wants me to think she's fine. She believes if she tells me how she actually feels, she'll bring me down with her. In her eyes, she has convinced herself that consoling me means troubling me. And she would rather fall into a hole of darkness than go down that path.

Well, guess what, Leona? You're not getting rid of me.

For a whole hour I just sat there, my eyelids heavy, the drowsiness seemed to be wanting to take over. I fought the urge to close my eyes for just a moment because I knew I would drift off, I couldn't help but wanna stay here for a little while more. Playing with her hair and just enjoying this moment for what it was. God, she was a beauty.

All of her features, even the ones you wouldn't come to notice usually, were so much more noticeable in the light of the moon. I didn't notice until now she had tiny freckles splattered across her face, they weren't very visible, but they were there. Her cheeks always seemed to be tinted with a slight redness that was ever so present beneath the ravishing moonlight.

"I'm here for you."

Sorry for the short chapter, don't forget to vote and comment :)