Wretched Roses √

Chapter 31-Leaving

Leona's Pov

*dying, cancer*

I arrived home feeling absolutely humiliated. Did I regret it? Not really. Part of me was relieved, she didn't hate me. Maybe she did and was just being nice to me because of what's going on. I didn't dwell on it too much and walked straight to Layla's room to check up on her.

She was sleeping so I didn't wake her up, knowing she needed it. I cried myself to sleep, that had been a habit lately. It was okay though, at least we could remain as friends. Even if it's only friends.

The next morning I woke up drained, which had also been a habit recently. My parents and Julian were eating breakfast in Layla's room, he stayed the night, another habit. She smiled at the sight but it quickly dropped when her eyes fell to an exhausted-looking Layla. The nurse was standing by the bed, she came occasionally and had been a great help.

"Good morning," I made myself known.

"Good morning," Mom was the first one to acknowledge me.

A series of greetings followed as I made myself to a chair close to her bed. Layla was snuggling into Julian, I grinned at the sight. They were truly adorable together, anyone could see that. If only they got more time together. If only. No, I couldn't dwell on the what if's. It'd only make it worse.

"How is she?" I asked, running a hand through my hair and leaving it there for a few seconds.

Layla was in the room, but talking alone was exhausting for her at this point. We did everything to make it a little bit easier for her but there were certain things you couldn't prevent. Exhaustion is one of them.

"She's exhibiting signs of having a few days left, maybe even less. I'm doing everything to make her more comfortable but she's becoming less responsive, her breathing is irregular, she's becoming more and more restless and her pulse is weaker. It could happen any day now," the nurse explained sadly.

"Okay."

"If there's anything I can do to help any of you, I'm only a phone call away. The last days can be extremely painful emotionally for family members and friends, I'm always here to help. Call me if there are any changes. There may be times when she appears almost okay, this is normal as well."

"Thank you so much, Belle," my dad said. Belle gave him a brief smile and left us alone with her.

Julian's POV

I squeezed Layla's hand gently and reassured that I was there. She didn't speak a lot but would sometimes let out cries or whimper uncomfortably. We only got a few months together, it wasn't fair, not at all. Selfishly, sometimes I regret ever meeting her. Maybe it was stupid of me to ever start a relationship with someone who was already dying. Then again, there was something about her that drew me to her. I didn't know if I believed in soulmates, but if they did exist, there was no doubt in my mind that she was mine. Perhaps, that's the reason I foolishly allowed myself to fall in love with her.

"I love you," I whispered, pecking her on the forehead.

"I love you too." For a moment, she looked okay, I cherished those moments. It made it all a little easier, it made it feel like it would be okay.

I looked over at Leona, who didn't notice me staring at her. It was quite strange, seeing someone who was identical to my girlfriend. I sympathized with her. Sure, Layla was my girlfriend but Leona had known her for her whole life. They were twins, I couldn't even imagine how painful this must be for her. She was putting up a strong front, like the rest of us, however, in the end, she was suffering, if not, the worst. Albeit, you shouldn't compare struggles, it was difficult for us all. But she was seeing her twin die, I knew how close they were, and considering they're identical, it must have been like watching yourself die.

At times, I couldn't help but feel out of place. These people were her family, who I'd barely gotten the chance to get to know, and here I was, the boyfriend of a couple of months taking up their time with her. They'd reassured me it fine, that they appreciated the support, yet, it didn't take away the crippling feeling of guilt.

That's why, I wanted to give Leona some time with her sister, alone. When I suggested we should leave them alone, they all agreed and I followed her parents out of the room. It was a bit awkward, standing in the hallway with her parents. Which was to be expected.

"Maybe I should go home for a few hours," I suggested hesitantly.

"You don't have to, Julian. Layla cares deeply for you, she wants you here in case anything happens. Unless you want to leave. We understand if it's all a bit too much and I'm sure she will as well."

"I'd love to be here," I started. "Though, I believe it's better if I leave for a few hours. For both myself and you. Please do call me if anything happens," I told them, grabbing my jacket and putting it on.

"That's understandable," her dad replied and gave me a slightly awkward pat on the shoulder.

Before I left, I felt the need to say something to them. So I did, "you're great parents. I'm sorry if this isn't my place to say this but I heard you the other day and I just want you to know you haven't failed as parents. If anything, you've made it easier for her. She understands this is hard for you as well. Layla doesn't blame you."

I saw a smile overtake both their faces and they nodded, pulling me into a hug I didn't know I needed. My parents were distant, we didn't speak a lot and they rarely hugged me. Strangely enough, a simple hug made me feel like I belonged somewhere.

"Thank you," they murmured in unison.

Leona's POV

"Hey," I said as I sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"Hey," her voice was weak and she was pale, but despite that, at this particular moment, she looked almost okay. "How did it go?"

I knew immediately what she was talking about. "As expected. She didn't return the feelings but told me she'd remain as my friend."

Layla appeared disappointed, although, not shocked. "Okay. Well, I'm glad you did it. Do you regret it?"

"Sometimes, but overall, no, not really." Subconsciously, I ran my hand through her hair as I spoke.

"That's good," she whispered."That's good," she repeated.

"How are you feeling?"

"Horrible. Fuck, horrible. But at the moment, more normal. The doctors called it surge. I guess I should appreciate this," she mumbled.

"Do you remember what I said before I left?"

"Not really," she confessed.

"Whenever you're ready," I repeated the words I said the other day.

She nodded. "I know. This isn't something you can really ever be ready for but I think I'm as ready as I can get."

She continued. "Leona, when I'm gone, please don't give up. I want you to be happy. Don't lose yourself, please, god, don't lose yourself. If you ever have a chance with her, take it. Promise me you'll take it?"

"I promise."

"And Leona?"

"Yeah."

"Don't forget me. I don't want to be forgotten. Please."

"I won't. I'll visit you. You better be looking down at me," I told her, half-joking.

"If heaven or some sort of afterlife exists, I will. If I'm a ghost, I'll haunt you, if I'll get reincarnated, I wanna be a rose. Is that possible? To get reincarnated as a rose? I don't know," she rambled.

"A rose, got it," I laughed.

"Yes, a rose," she smiled softly.

"I wanna be a rose."