Wretched Roses √

Chapter 24-Worrying

Leona
One day before the wedding, winter break

"She's really getting married?" Layla questioned.

"Yeah, she really is," I confirmed with a sad nod.

We had barely talked since the day I confessed I knew she was pregnant. Maybe it was selfish of me to avoid her, but it hurt too much seeing them together. She'd been trying to talk to me, but I just couldn't do it. Freya was gonna be a married mom and I was still dwelling over her feelings for her. Pathetic.

"I'm sorry." Layla hugged me tightly and whispered reassuring words into my ear.

"It's my fault for falling for an engaged woman," I admitted. Layla shook her head.

"We can't help who we fall for," she argued. I didn't answer her question, instead I asked her one.

"How's it going with Julian? You're together now, right?" I asked her, seeing the smile immediately form on her face.

"It's going really well, but he's, uh, worried for me," Layla replied and my smile dropped. I nodded in understanding, refusing to cry. "I'm worried about Julian," she confessed. I urged her to continue and she did.

"His treatment seems to be going well but he looks like he's fallen into despair and he won't talk to me about it. I asked him if it was because of the treatment but he only shook his head, implying it isn't," she explained, a sad frown on her face.

"I think he's scared and worried for you."

"That's what I fear, it makes me feel selfish for getting into a relationship when I know I'm dying," she paused. "God, I'm just dragging him down with me, aren't I?" A tear fell down her cheek, I wiped it away before speaking.

"You're not selfish, we can't help who we fall for," I quoted what she told me earlier.

Before she could say anything mom and dad called for us to come eat with them. They'd prepared lasagna, Laya's favorite dish. Recently they had been extra sweet to Layla, she told me she hated it, wanting things to go back to normal when they didn't treat her like a fragile porcelain doll. I don't really blame them, they're losing their daughter and wanna cherish these last moments with her.

They were still in denial, avoiding talking about the fact that she was dying. It was their coping mechanism, but it unfair. I could tell Layla was yearning to speak to them and let out her feelings but they made it impossible. Denial.

"So, are you seeing anybody?" Mom asked with a smile, showing off her slightly yellow and crooked teeth. I shook my head, my mind unconsciously drifting to Freya.

Mom nodded and turned her attention to Layla. "How's it going with that boyfriend of yours?" Mom questioned.

"It's going well, I really like him," Layla stated with a proud smile.

"I'm happy for you, Layla," Dad cut in and patted her on the back.

I used to be much closer to my parents until she got diagnosed. They didn't pay attention to me anymore and I never blamed them for it, how could I? It hurt how much had changed but I couldn't be selfish, of course things had changed, it's been a tough couple of years. Yet, whenever I hoped they'd pay slightly more attention to me, I instantly punished myself for being so selfish.

"Mom, dad," Layla trailed off after a couple of minutes of uncomfortable silence where the only thing you could hear was the clinking of the glass and the silverware cutting through the food.