I come home after

Chapter 4

"Bumble?" Eddie asked, looking over Buck's shoulder to see the app open on his phone.

Across from them, Hen and Chimney glanced up surreptitiously.

"Is that the one where the women have to make the first move?" Chim asked.

"So it is back to women then?" Hen added teasingly.

Eddie couldn't place the slight sting in his stomach.

"I thought the last date went well?" he sat down next to Buck, watching a blush creep up on his face.

"Ooh!" Chim reacted, grinning wickedly. "What is it you're not telling us?"

He was met with a glare and Eddie was confused.

Ok, they hadn't really talked about the last date. But Buck had stayed out longer than with the other dates, he looked more relaxed, he -- Eddie had taken that as a sign that there might be a second date.
Now that he's thinking about it...

"Are you afraid of following it up with another date?" Eddie asked. "Afraid of being hurt again?"

"It's not," Buck sighed, "it's not that the last date wasn't nice, I just realised he's not what I'm looking for."

A man, Eddie's brain helpfully supplies and he doesn't even know why that bugs him now.

"So... off to the next one?" Hen poked curiously.

"Off to the next one," Buck affirmed.

Just like after every other date, Buck showed up at Eddie's door again this evening. This time though, Eddie wasn't expecting him.

He started steeling himself for when Buck inevitably would not ring his doorbell halfway through the night to do nothing with him.

Eddie was more nervous while waiting for Buck (and wasn't that telling, that he was waiting for him instead of going along with evening plans of his own) than he has been during any of the other dates Buck has been on throughout the last few weeks. Maybe it was because he realised last week that a new relationship for Buck would mean that their friendship would inevitably change. Maybe... maybe, just maybe he also realised something else last week. Something that he refuses to think about.

It didn't matter anyway, he told himself whenever his thoughts start drifting into that territory. Dangerous territory.

It didn't matter, because Buck had gone on a date with one man and was back to dating women now.

It didn't matter, but Buck had dated one man, one single man, and Eddie's brain went into overdrive.

Or well, some part of his body went into overdrive and he really wasn't ready enough to contemplate which of the three most likely options it was.

"Fuck!" he muttered, sitting down on his couch, the couch he would much rather be sitting on with Buck than alone as he did now, and dragged his hands through his hair.
Fuck.

Eddie didn't know if Buck was able to see that something was up when he finally arrived. He desperately hoped that his realisation couldn't be seen on his face. Or in his body language. Or in his eyes, those traitors, that were currently losing themselves in the other man's eyes.

Eddie tried to focus on his best friend instead of his own very loud thoughts and matching heartbeat.

Buck definitely looked better than after the first dates. More relaxed. Less dejected. Less like he thought he'll stay alone and become lonely. More like he wanted to make this dating thing work.

Eddie winced internally. Buck seemed like he wanted to continue going on dates. With women. Who were not him.

And suddenly, that which he had looked forward to so much - Buck, next to him, on his couch, spending a relaxed evening - had become torture.