I come home after

Chapter 5

Eddie was determined to be calm about Buck's next date. He made a promise to himself about that and he meant to keep it.

But when he overheard Buck mentioning to Hen that he was meeting up with a man again that evening, Eddie knew that it would affect him more than he wanted.

He tried to calm his breath, tried to keep his mood from spilling over, from ruining Buck's mood as well.

So when Buck asked him, "You ok?" Eddie cursed himself, for not being able to push his feelings down as much as he'd like to.

"Yeah," he croaked out, trying to smile reassuringly. "Everything's fine, don't worry."

Buck cocked his eyebrows in disbelief but didn't press and Eddie cursed himself again. Because his best friend, that he was apparently in love with, knowing when he really wants to be left alone with an issue, just strengthened his heart in its belief of having made the right choice of falling for Buck. And currently it seemed he had to fight his body from giving more control away from his brain to his heart.

"How was your date?" Eddie asked carefully, later that night, when they were sitting on his couch again and for some reason eating ice cream. Eddie supposed that this meant it probably hadn't go that well, but he still had to ask.

Buck shrugged, "Still not what I was searching for."

In a man, Eddie's brain provided again, and that difference, that small addition of in, made all the difference.

He sighed and watched his best friend spoon the ice cream into his mouth, contemplating if he could have a chance. Not now, as Buck was obviously not interested in dating him if he's using dating apps, but one day, when he inevitably gave up on trying to date random people on the internet. Or, well, scratch the inevitable part, that was just Eddie's wishful thinking.

"Soo," Buck drawled as he set his bowl down on the coffee table, "you seem to be better than this morning, you wanna talk to me about what that was about?"

Eddie sighed and stretched, "Not really," he replied apologetically. "I didn't mean to take it out on you."

"You didn't," Buck assured him, "I was just worried about you is all."

Eddie laughed, "That's exactly what I didn't want you to do. You had a date, I wanted you to enjoy it and the last thing you needed was to be worrying about me."

He looked down at his hands but Buck searched for his gaze and made it impossible for him to look away.

"You know I would stay in with you, or Christopher, if you needed me, right?" Buck kept on holding eye contact, trying to make Eddie understand his words. "I would stay home from any of those dates for you two." And then, to lighten the mood: "They are only first dates, right?"

Eddie smiled recalling their conversation before Buck's first OKCupid date, "Yeah, they are only first dates." But at one point they won't be anymore, he thought bitterly, at some point you will find someone you will want to stick around.

Losing himself in his thoughts, Eddie missed Buck observing him, taking in the way he was tensing, the crease between his eyebrows, the colour of his eyes...