Overlap

Van

🥀February 2020🌼

"Please say you'll be there..." she'd said on her doorstep, sitting with her knees hugged to her chest on the step. She was trying to find her front door key but she'd given up, hands in her lap, looking up at me with her molten brown eyes.

At first I didnt understand what she was asking. But she was waiting for an answer and she thought I understood her.

"Where?" i asked, crouching down to help her pick up her things and pack them back in her bag.

"We're getting married at the end of the month," she said quietly, she looked so unsure it broke my heart.

I felt a twist of anger inside me but I swallowed it down. It wasn't for her. I didn't understand her but I couldn't be angry with her.

Every seemingly mad thing I'd ever seen her do had been down to desperation, feeling trapped. "Niall stuff." I knew that this would be the same.

"That's pretty soon darlin..." I said slowly, my mouth was dry, it was difficult to swallow or find my words.

"I don't wanna be showing when we get married and we don't want anythin big n fancy anyway, I don't want loads of people there anyway, and well..."

"You want a classic shotgun wedding?" i raised my brow, more than just a little sinical.

"it's what Andy wants anyway so..."

"What about you?" i asked, chewing my cheek, I wanted to hold her hand again. I wanted to hold the palm of her hand to my lips and I wanted her to change her mind, but I could tell that it was already made up.

I wanted to tell her how I really felt but I knew that that would only rub salt in the wounds. Hers and mine.

There was something she wasn't telling me and i knew that if I told her how i felt she'd only shut down on me. She'd look at me the way she looked at her brother, she'd look at me and see another person to shrug things off too. Id get the tight smile, the forced laugh. The "just niall stuff."

"Well I don't really mind what it's like i guess," she shrugged finding her keys and breaking my heart when she stood up, "I just..." she bit her lip, "I really want you to be there cause..."

She stopped, trailed off and turned away from me, shoved her keys in the lock and bit back a sob.

"Cause..." i said quietly trying to coax her into a confession, trying to get her to tell me the truth.

I stood up behind her, hand on her shoulder, my chest to her back, chin tilted down to talk to her softly. I was probably standing too close to her, it probably looked like a tender moment to anyone else.

"I'm just really scared," she whispered, hand straying from the keys in the door, turning to me slightly. I could see the fear in her eyes and all I wanted was to tell her again. She had a choice. She could just walk away. She could leave today or next week, but she could do it. I'd be the first to fall at her feet and help her.

But I didn't say any of that because I knew it was no good. I'd told her it all already, she already knew all of those things. She just didn't believe me, she hadn't earlier that evening and she didn't now. She wouldn't.

"Scared of what?" I asked, chin on her shoulder. We stood cheek to cheek and my hands slid down from her shoulders to her hands, one resting on her waist. I wanted to turn her around, hug her and hold her tight to my chest. I wanted to kiss her hair and her eyes and her lips and I wanted to tell her I wasn't going to let her do any of this.