Destiny

Chapter Eleven

  Life is not about looking back and wishing that today is the same with the past. Life is about moving on, accepting changes and looking forward to what makes you stronger and more complete because it’s never too late to have a life and never too late to change one.

            It has been four and a half year ago when all of those memories happened. Time flies really fast, I can’t even remember the last time I saw Kurt. Right, we broke up after Alyssa and Jay were buried. I returned his ring back to his. I was so distressed and true to his words he kept moving and left me when I made my choice. I was so broken and four times committed suicide because of emotional problems. My mind and heart cannot take it anymore. I was so broken when Kurt left me, as well as Jay, while my mom and dad were back into good terms. Four and a half years ago I was still at McKinley University but now I already graduated out there and continued my college studies and now working in a well known company. As for my friends they all finished at McKinley and studied too, and after our graduation they all got engaged. While for me and Kurt already came to an end even after we tried again and again, but it still hadn’t improved because of my problems. I thought my problems and grieve would only last for even a year but it even affected our relationship. Four and half years I don’t know how I can still live with this. But surely god has more plans for me and for him.

True love conquers all, I believe in that because love is a sacred feeling for two persons to feel. Now I am asking how I can still love Kurt when he caused me so much pain, but I know it’s my fault, because I gave up too early on us. I am such a coward until now, I’m afraid to open my heart again because I know deep inside it still belong to his.

            “Mom! Dad! Where are you?” I yelled down the stairs when I got out of my room.           This is very stressful. I wish they hadn’t called my psychiatrist because I know my parents saw the new scars at my wrist and bite marks at my arms and legs. I’ve been cutting myself for months now and I don’t know why.

            “We are here sweetie. And we are sure you’d like meet our guest.” My mom said to me. I followed her voice which leads me to our living room. I scanned the area and my eyes dropped to the person sitting across them. It was a guy, with a messy jet black hair and the way that guy dress, it seems so familiar. I gave my mom a questioning look and she just smiled. She just actually smiles at me! What a stupid answer is that.

            “Mom? What the…” I said rudely to her but I trailed off when the person sitting across them turned to look at me. Am I really gaping at this guy? As soon as I realized that my mouth is wide open in front of him, I shut it as fast as I can. I just look at the guy, still entranced at his presence. He still looks so beautiful for me. I slowly eyed him from his foot to his head, checking every detail in his. I even pinched myself to make sure I am not dreaming. This is too much and so I started to back away and run through the doors.

             I run until I was out of our house. I am at the porch of our house right now, sitting at the farthest side of it. I can’t forbid my tears to come out of my eyes now. It was bursting now, for the longest time I am trying to hold back my tears. I don’t know if I sat there for a few minutes, because as soon as I heard footsteps coming closer to where I am, I abruptly got up and started to run again. And so the footsteps followed me too. I turn to look at the person following me and it’s the least person I wanted to see; Kurt. I was still looking at him and yet I was still running away from him. I heard a car honking and I eagerly turn my head to look at where it was coming. All I see was the light that was very intimidating for my eyes. It was coming closer I thought and so I just closed my eyes and waited for it to come.

            “Oh God. Please.” Kurt exhaled through my hair. He was holding me, and I felt safe again after a long time. No, it’s wrong to be this close, so I removed myself from his touch and catch my breath.