Broken

Twenty.

Mykie and I talked in the makeup trailer about my date with Chris a few nights ago before going onto set for the day. We both had been so busy and surrounded by people that we couldn't talk.
Now she understood why. Chris and I both agreed to keep our relationship quiet. As much as we wanted to shout it to the world, we did not want anything to disrupt the effortless progress of the divorce being finalized.
Chris and I told our families but did not tell anyone else on set. Even with us arriving to set at different times, never spending too much time one on one, I'm sure everyone figured it out anyways.

I continuously glanced at the makeup Mykie had done on my face. Busted lip, bruising, cuts, black eye. My phone chimed with a text from my publicist, Carrie. I read the message with Mykie blending the heavy coverage makeup onto my left shoulder. The smile I had from laughing at Mykie faded with reading more of the text.

"What's wrong?" She asked, catching the concern in my face.
"Carrie sent me screenshots of comments she deleted on an Instagram post."
"What was the post?"
"A picture of you, me and Chris at your birthday party."
"And the comments?" I tapped on the photo to enlarge it and held up the phone to her. There were four comments that were screenshot. Mykie read each one, swiping angrily at every photo until she read the last one. "That's all bullshit. You know it. They're jealous internet trolls, dude. Don't fucking listen to them."
"How could they say that Chris is my rebound?" I started to get more upset the more I thought about the words from these anonymous humans. An announcement from a walkie-talkie on Mykie's hip called for us to be in the wardrobe trailer in five minutes.
"Because they're jealous trolls." She said again sternly. I sighed, nodding my head. She gathered the makeup and tools she needed to finish the coverup on set.

The wardrobe crew helped me into the already bloodied and ripped dress. I held my breath and closed my eyes as they splattered and dripped more dried stage blood onto the dress. Mykie made more bruising and cuts, now that she could see how the dress was hanging from my body.
The scene we were filming today would be the most difficult. I remember I had trouble writing it: my character is telling her husband who is responsible for abusing her. Tom Hardy's character is gentle and caring toward my character. Until he turns around and kills his own brother for the abuse.
Chris helped me prepare for this scene the best that he could. I'm sure actors watch sad videos or think about upsetting things to make them cry. I had never done this before. I didn't know what would make me cry on cue. It wasn't until I sat on the edge of the bed on set, heard Chris say 'action' and felt Tommy's hands on my thighs that something clicked.

"John..John..please..if I tell you, you're going to be put away and I can't do this..alone..please John." I said my lines as I dropped my head. Tommy hesitantly placed his hand on my cheek. At the realization of his hand holding my face, I held onto it and cried more.
"Was it my brother?" Tommy whispered his line. I began shaking. I kept the tears flowing. I nodded my head. "I love you." Tommy stood up and walked off camera. Now it was up to me to react to him killing his own brother. I begged him not to do it. Chris yelled out 'bam' to signal the gunshot. I covered my mouth with my bloody hands and held my breath. I moved my eyes as if I was watching Tommy walk out of the room. I gradually lowered my shaking hands.
"Cut." Chris' voice allowed me to exhale completely. I laughed at the extent I pushed myself. Tommy was the first to rush up to me and embrace me in his arms.
"I don't know how you managed that in one take, darling. But you did the bloody thing." Tommy said into my ear. Chris smiled at me from behind the camera. I know he had to keep it professional between us. He winked and smiled even wider. That was enough validation for me.

I walked back to the wardrobe trailer to change into the next outfit after a quick shower. We had to jump right into filming a scene of my character and Tommy's talking between the glass in the prison. Chris rented the spot. It was expensive and we only had four hours to film.
Once I changed, I stepped out to have a cigarette. Mykie appeared to apply as much makeup as she could since I had to wash everything off. I read a few texts from Chris: