part 10: depression

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Lately, I have been feeling down.  The guy I'm talked to, Jakeup, called me a asshole for no reason, and I liked a guy who said he liked me back and then turned around and said he doesn't like me.  I hate my life.  I can't help but wonder what it would be like if I wasn't here.  What people would do differently.  So,  I feel like when I graduate, I'm not gonna come back to this state,  ever again. I can't help but wonder what it's gonna be like if I was never born.  So,  I'm not gonna stop wondering these things.  I can't help but he depressed.  It hurts really bad. I feel it emotionally and physically and mentally exhausted from all this crap I'm going through.  I just want to end it because I feel like if I did, nobody would miss me, and I feel like the voices could be gone. It's a way for them to go away. It hurts to feel alone. Feeling that void deep down in your chest, that feeling that you're not good enough, or nobody loves you. That's how I feel on a daily basis. It feels like I'm drowning, and nobody wants to come and help me or even reach out their hand.

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