Chapter 4

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The tightness in my chest makes each breath of air painful, and each exhale causes my body to shake

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The tightness in my chest makes each breath of air painful, and each exhale causes my body to shake.

My hands tremble as I clench the folded paper. Before I open it up, I find Adele's emerald eyes glossed over, while her husband waves me on, begging me to continue.

"Should I read it out loud?" I ask.

Adele settles her hand benevolently on my shoulder. "No, Sweetheart. We have read that letter a hundred times. It's your turn."

This letter seems important, almost sacred. I try to control my shaking hands, making sure not to ruin the pages.

With a deep breath, I start to read:

Mom and Dad,

If you're reading this, I guess the treatment didn't work as we hoped.

I asked Hannah to save this in case anything happened.

First, I want to thank you. I want to thank you for staying by my side these past few months and always being there for me. I know that is what parents are supposed to do, but I would think it is a little harder when you are watching your child die.

I never once felt alone, I always felt loved, and I never felt like I was less than just because I got sick.

Thank you for that.

There are a few things I wanted to talk to you about. I know that I could have had this conversation with you while I was alive, but I just wanted to keep pretending everything was alright. I wanted to believe I would make it, but God had other plans.

I know that Princeton was always my greatest aspiration. You both nurtured that dream, never letting me doubt my abilities. You never allowed me to give up, even though there were a few times I really wanted to. Thank you for making me the best version of myself, and thank you for helping me make my dream a reality, even if I don't make it there in the fall.

The two of you worked relentlessly to make sure both me and Hannah had our education paid for, and I am forever grateful for the burden you took on to make sure we had no debt once we graduated. I know how blessed I am to have both of you as parents, and I pray that you know how appreciative I am for all that you have done and sacrificed for me over the years.

You, Mom and Dad, are the best.

Even though I won't be around to get the education you saved all that money for, I'm hoping I could still have a say in where it goes, but more on that in a minute.

After I got sick, we made a bucket list, remember? We traveled to Italy and Ireland. I got to swim with dolphins and paint pictures with penguins. I even made it to prom and had one last celebration with all my friends.

My favorite was the day you took my friends and me to get tattoos. I hope that when you look down at yours, you remember how Mac cried like a little Bitch, and we all laughed until we had tears rolling out our eyes.

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