eternal

reunited / tobi-q

spin-off/rewrite(?) of jirotaru's 'mended promise'

···

"don't leave me," kageyama said, voice choked up and tears threatening to roll down his cheeks, holding onto qq's small, pale, and now seemingly brittle hands, "please."

"silly tobio," qq said as she cracked a smile, forcing her lips upwards as she squeezed his hand gently, "i'll be by your side. always."

"you promise?" he asked, a single tear escaped his eye and self-control, his voice taking on a child-like edge as hope bloomed in his chest.

"where else would i be?" she said, glancing at him.

a small smile came up to his face and he pressed a kiss onto her knuckles, rubbing them gently afterward.

"you have to get well soon," he whispered, "i've got plans on celebrating your birthday with you."

"that's good," she replied, smiling again, "i can't wait."

however, she never kept her promise. on 27 january, at 1.27 p.m., the surgeon pronounced her dead, another case of table death. kageyama had flown into a rage, demanding the surgeon be held responsible. he knew he was being irrational since he had known the surgery would have a slim chance of success, but when the grim reaper came to whisk qq away, he just couldn't seem to accept it.

it had been two years since then, and kageyama still hadn't gotten over her passing. he kept blaming her for making her promise empty and void and ultimately left him alone in the world. however, he knew that he shouldn't. she never made the choice to die, he knew she had dreams to accomplish before she would ever consider dying.

his coping mechanism was to send messages to her, even though she wouldn't be able to read them. it was weird; he didn't feel lonely when he did so. there was this odd sense of security whenever he did so.

at first, he would type out hateful messages: blaming her for leaving him, angry that she made him feel all these negative feelings, resented the fact that she broke her promise. they were soulmates, were they not?

through the passage of time, his fury eventually cooled off and he began to feel sentimental. he started to miss the times she was with him. her exact features began to fade from his mind, and he needed to always look at her pictures before the fog clouding her face would clear up.

the ex karasuno team tried to help him lessen the grief by offering words of encouragement, pats on the back, and hopeful smiles. even tsukishima had to; it was weird seeing the proud king at his feet all the time. nonetheless, kageyama was grateful for all of their help.

to set the record straight, he never actually truly hated her. he just loved her a tad bit too much, just like how the sea loved the sand and how the moon chased the sun.

he missed her too. he missed everything about her. her smile (the one where all her teeth showed even though she always hid it because she was embarrassed about her bunny-like teeth), her bunny teeth, her laugh (even though she snorted and she hated it but he didn't), her music (it was oddly lulling), her strength — he embraced everything about her.

he even resorted to entering her room and touching her belongings to remind himself that she was once alive and never a dream. he once curled himself up on her bed, breathing in the remaining lingering scent of hers on her bedsheets, and cried himself to sleep. she was the seams that held him together and kept him in a whole single being. now that she was gone, the broken ends were crumbling, and he felt himself breaking apart.