One Hundred Ways To Annoy Snape (Finished)

Burn

We sneaked quietly down the hall, wands in hand. I silently prayed that no one was out this late in the night besides us. There was no excuse for us being out this late, at least, none that any intelligent professor would accept. Part of me was excited because what we were doing was clearly against school rules. And the rest of me was scared as all hell. So in conclusion, I was pretty hyper, especially for me.

Rock opened the professor's door, making sure it didn't creak. Snape was snoring slightly. We had to choke back out laughter until later, however. If we got caught now, we were so dead, it wasn't even funny. Not that death is generally funny... Oh, you know what I mean! With our wands, we shrunk all of his clothes in record time and fled into the night again. Rock had left behind a note. I didn't know what it said, but I assumed it was sassy and very Rock-like. Snape was going to be beside himself with rage tomorrow. We had about seven hours to live, then. Lovely. 

When we reached a bathroom, I asked, "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, he's going to strangle us." 

Her eyes narrowed. "He compared me to my father," she seethed. Nodding once, I took out my wand again and thought of the quickest way to get rid of the clothes and not have a lot of evidence left behind while we were at it. 

"Flagrate!" I whispered harshly. A fiery 'X' appeared on the piles of clothes, consuming it hastily as if the flames knew the trouble they would cause. I stared at my hand in surprise. I just burned Snape's clothes. 

Yep, we were going to die tomorrow. 

****************

Rock and I kept our faces carefully blank as we entered the dungeons. No one had to know of our brilliance just yet. We sat down, not saying anything, but we kept glancing triumphantly at each other. This was scarily epic. Snape was going to be livid and we were going to be extremely happy. The bell rang, but Snape didn't appear. Some of the people in the class wondered about his whereabouts. 

I frowned, puzzled. Surely he didn't have spare clothes? Then the door slammed loudly, clearly in ire, and a mostly-naked Potions Master entered the room. The class was shocked, except, of course, Rock and me. We were fist-bumping underneath the desk. Success was ours and ours only. 

If Snape's face could get any darker with rage, I'd cut my hand off. That's how angry he was. "Miss Riddle!" he spat. "What. Did. You. DO?" 

She raised an eyebrow. "So, sorry, Sexy. I wasn't paying attention, I was far too busy looking at your chest. Did you need something?" she asked politely. I had to admit, I myself had a hard time not staring at his chest. In fact, I had to stop myself from having an idiotic look on my face. Snape grabbed the desk in front of us and tossed it aside easily. 

"You left a note, Miss Riddle," he hissed. "Or have you forgotten I can read?" 

I swallowed, feeling guilty. "Professor, it was my fault," I said quickly. "I'm the one who preformed the spell and I'm sincerely sorry. Nice shorts?" 

His black eyes flashed to me. There was a silence. Then Rock spoke up again, "Sexy, you really should know better than to compare me to my father." I bit back a groan of annoyance. There was something bad about to happen, I could just tell. Snape crossed his arms over his bare chest -damn it, I have to stop looking at it!- and narrowed his eyes. 

"I think, Miss Riddle, that if anyone should know anything around here, it is that the more you continue to irk me, the more detention you shall receive," he growled. "You and Miss Dewitt. Come here at six. Be late and things will get even more nasty." Snape sat down behind his desk and began the lesson. Even without clothes on, he still had a commanding air. It just really messed with my hormones. By the look on Rock's face, it must've effected hers somewhat, as well, because there was no witty comeback.