One Hundred Ways To Annoy Snape (Finished)

Vengeance is Sweet

I couldn't quite help but think that although we were supposed to serve the detention, Professor Snape wouldn't mind we skipped it because -as Rock so rightly pointed out- Flich is a perverted old man. I shuddered. That was just purely disgusting. "Maybe we should tell Snape about what just happened," I mused aloud. Rock considered this for a few moments before nodding. 

"That way, maybe Flich will be fired," she smirked, a vindictive gleam in her eyes. 

This time, I really had to agree with her. Flich should be skinned like a pig and then burned alive. I blinked. Wow, that was dark and cruel, even for me. "Okay, let's go," I jumped off the bed, taking her arm. 

She laughed. "Eager to see Sexy, Jen?" she teased. 

"Duh," was my hasty, short response. Who didn't want to see Professor Snape? In fact, since I'm feeling a bit bold this evening, maybe I should call him sexy to his face and see how he reacts to sweet, innocent Jen making a move. Excitement flared and I practically dragged Rock behind me, that's how fast I was moving. I didn't even bother knocking, I just pushed through the door to his classroom. "Excuse me, Professor Snape?"

He started muttering in irritation under his breath for almost a full minute before hissing, "I thought I told you that you had detention? Why are you here?"

Rock appeared to be torn between exasperation and being amused. "Sexy, listen to Jen. Just... shut up for five minutes and listen for once." Snape scowled in rage, his lip curling in such a contemptuous manner, I wanted to take a few steps back before he started to murder things within wand-range. That basically meant us. Rock wasn't as shaken by this as I was. Then again, she could be facing someone like Hitler and she'd still berate him, despite the consequences. 

"Fine," he spat harshly. "Let's hear this tale you've fabricated to get out of your detention, Miss Riddle. Tell me, because from what Flich has informed me, you nearly killed him." 

"We should've killed him," Rock muttered. I silently endorsed that plan of action. No one liked Flich anyway. We'd be doing the world a damned favor by getting rid of him. So why was Snape -once again- not on our side?

"Here's what happened, Professor," I cut in before the situation could escalate further into an argument. "Rock and I were prepared to do the detention, but then we figured out that all Flich wanted to do was..." I faltered. That was embarrassing enough to think about, let alone tell Snape. Rock was fighting back a smirk and was failing terribly. Apparently, my embarrassment is amusing now...

Snape glowered.  "Yes, Miss Dewitt?" he prompted slowly. I involuntarily shuddered. Did he have to use that tone? Why couldn't he use one that wasn't quite as... seductive? I bit my lip. 

"Hejustwantedtolookatusbendingoverandgettingwetwiththewaterinthebuckets," I rushed out in one breath. I exhaled, pleased with having gotten that over with. Rock was shaking with mute laughter. I rolled my eyes. Only she would find my discomfort this funny. But I was holding back laughter of my own, so I guess I have no room to talk.

The professor, however, was still trying to figure out what the hell I just said. Slowly, comprehension dawned on his expression. "And... just what makes you think I'm going to believe this version of what happened?" Snape asked, his tone cold, but he didn't have his usual vindication. 

I considered this for a minute, but I couldn't think of any evidence that would sway his support in our favor. Rock did, though. "Sexy, do you think that we'd come all the way over here just to tell you a lie?" she questioned sweetly, but her eyes had gone chillingly furious. Snape stared at her coolly for a minute before answering. 

"Don't ask me to fathom how your minds work!" he snapped. "There could be a several many reasons you're telling me this: To get Flich fired, to annoy me, to get attention."

Okay, well, this was going nowhere quickly. 

I raised my hand as if in class. "Excuse me, hi. First of all, no, Professor. I would never make this up. I swear on all of the perfect scores I have that Flich did try to like... corner... us. Disgusting and pathetic, really..." I finished grimly. 

It might've been the poor lighting, but I was fairly certain that the emotionless, detatched Potions Master was displaying some kind of... fury. I really hoped it wasn't aimed towards me because I kind of wanted to live to see my parents and whatnot. He stood up, and I accidentally took a step backwards. "I don't think you understand your position here, Miss Dewitt," he said silkily. 

I shot Rock a terrified look, but she was too busy taking out her wand and aiming it at a stack of extra potion books. "Either you do something about this, Professor, or I'll burn all of your precious potion books," Rock snarled, not a hint of backing down in her voice. I believed her, but I don't think the professor did. His mistake. 

"Miss Riddle, I will not do anything about this," he snapped. "Furthermore, put your wand-"

"Flagrate!" she shouted, flames bursting from the end of her wand. The books cackled dangerously with the fire. My mouth fell open. She didn't do that. Please tell me she didn't do that... Oh, Christ, Rock set the books on fire. They were books. Just... innocent books. 

I had to sit down. This was quite stressful for me, someone who read books all the time. Snape extinguished the flames, stalking towards Rock. "Get. Out."

Yes, I'd love to, but I'm a little busy being frozen in fear. I still couldn't believe Rock burned books, for the sake of all things holy. I sat down, trying not to hyperventilate over the books. Rock quirked an eyebrow in my direction. "Jen, calm down. They made better kindling than they did text books," she smirked, no longer angry now that revenge had been claimed as hers. "Anything you'd like to say, Professor?" 

Snape looked like he wanted to say several things -none of them flattering to hear- but he simply repeated, "Get out. And pray that if I ever see you again, and I do not strangle you on the spot." My eyes widened in surprise, although I guess I shouldn't have been so shocked by this declaration. 

"Why, you wouldn't do that," Rock smiled, this time with genuine warmth. "You love us too much." 

If he was angry before, now he was beside himself with rage. "I do not -nor shall I ever- love you," he growled, a muscle in his jaw twitching in ire. "I do not care if I have to destroy everything in sight, Miss Riddle, I will make you paid dearly for this little instant this evening."

She was still smiling; it hadn't wavered in the least. Rock leaned forward and spoke softly, saying, "No, you won't." She said it with such confidence, he looked like he believed her. Astounding. 

"Why not?" he spat, no longer sounding as angry, and just a bit curious. 

Instead of giving him a direct answer, she replied, "Roses are red, violets are blue, vengeance is sweet, and so are you." 

The next thing I knew, we were back in the hallway, walking back towards our dormitory. "I like that poem," I remarked, "but next time, leave the books alone. They didn't even do anything and you burned them." The incident still had me horror-struck. 

She rolled her eyes. "It was just potions. You have your own copy, so calm yourself, Jen." We got ready for bed and went to sleep rather easily that night. 

But it was the next morning that had me restless for the following nights.