Pulsing Rage (Mad Men, #2)

Kabanata 7

Kabanata 7

Growing as Malia Fuentes' daughter was actually overwhelming. I thought at first, it was so fun and enjoying to be surrounded by cameras all the time. Sa telebisyon, nakikita 'ko lagi ang si Mama, in-interview, madalas mga balita tungkol sa mga project niya. I was actually liking going to her TV shoots, commercial shoots, and interviews. I was well-known to my classmates in pre-school and elementary because of my mother. Reporters were taking pictures of me and I was glad because I was going to be on TV, too!

When I was a child, I dreamed about being Mama someday. I wanted to be actress. I wanted to be seen on TV. I wanted to be admired. I wanted to be adored. I wanted to be like her. So, I acted like her. Mama was actually fond of it so she contacted her manager or her previous clients for any project suited to me.

I was booked for a commercial shoot! For the first time! It was actually so fun!

Teenager me had to maintain ideal image for everyone. I wanted to be adored so I needed to be beautiful. I needed to pretty for their standard. I needed to be like someone else's body! Until this standard made my life miserable. Social media platforms are vicious. It made me become something I don't want to be. Even I wanted to. Even I didn't want to. I didn't know anymore.

An incident occurred and that event made me become who am I today. I am always trying and still fighting that past.

I shook my head as the memories flooded in my mind. Kanina pa 'ko nakatitig sa mga pictures na na-post sa Instagram account ni Mama. I decided to look back if the past still hurts but I think I don't feel anything...maybe it still pained me, I don't know, or my mind is just rejecting the idea of that version of precedent.

Huminga ako nang malalim at tinignan na lamang ang IG story ni Mama. It is her and tito Ernest. However, my heart started to beat wildly when the picture was them, drinking. Tinatak 'ko sa isipan 'ko na ang iniinom ni Mama ay hindi alcoholic beverage. I know that tito Ernest won't never make it happen.

I closed my eyes and imagined another version where Mama and tito Ernest were just casually drinking their favorite fruit juices! Mama likes lemon juice so much! And so tito Ernest loves his watermelon juice!

That's it, Elaine!

I let go of that post and breathed a sigh.

A while ago, June picked up her car. Inaya niya 'kong lumabas ngunit humindi ako dahil I actually want to plan the vacation I've been dreaming of since January of this year. Bago sana kaming pumuntang America at bago mag-Pasko ay makapagbakasyon na 'kong mag-isa. Hindi 'ko pa rin nagagamit ang mga leaves 'ko sa opisina at balak 'ko gamitin ito sa bakasyong ito pati na rin ang pagpunta namin sa America.

Alone in the garden, my laptop setup on a wooden table and searching about Quezon.

"Marga!" Mama's voice boomed around. I angled my neck toward her voice. The glass door opened widely, revealing my ever beautiful mother in her silk bathrobe. "Do you want to join us later? Dinner outside?"

"What's the occasion?" sabi 'ko pagkatapos ibalik ang mata sa laptop. Kaagad 'kong pinatay ang aking telepono nang papalapit na si Mama sa aking pwesto. "Is there some good news?" My right brow arched, looking at her.

Mama looks so happy. It's probably a good news! A good project!

"Yes, you're right, my darling," she said, kissing both of my cheeks. She engulfed my cheeks and uttered, "I have a big project next year. The story conference happened yesterday. And I am just really happy and we should really celebrate it."

"Tonight." Yes, we should really celebrate.

And also, I needed to be happy for Mama. I shouldn't think about those random text messages I received from her haters. I should never doubt her. She is all clean and doing better. She is my mother. And I trust her wholeheartedly.