The Scent Of Insanity [KiriDeku] (Vol.1)

Cotton Kid (13)

The morning Eijirou had to go back to school, he felt horribly unmotivated. He stalled for time as he sat at the edge, staring into his closet. His mind going blank as he rubbed his eyes, he started to feel dead. 

He had no reason to go to school, it was like his crush had become his entire life. 
He felt stupid, as he stood up to open his room door. 
He felt like he'd made up an entire love story like a child would. Like he was in a whole different world, they were just characters in a book with a genre they hated. 

The bright yellow light from the kitchen made him feel sick, as he leaned on the table to stare out the window. 

He folded his hands as he shivered from the cold. Thinking for a moment, eyes darting across the room. He thought of how boring his life was now, without him. Without the thought that he possibly loved him the same way. He lost all motivation to even try anymore, because it was his choice.

You give and get nothing. 

It was Izuku's choice completely, and there was not a thing he could do to change it. 

He started to regret not hiding it until it went away, because now it was real. Now Izuku had to face the same thing he did. 
"I should've swept it under the rug. I should've just told myself to get over it, to spare myself the embarrassment." He thought. He slammed his hands on the table as he stood up, stomping back to his room. 

He started grinding his teeth together, holding his breath. He considered not going at all, just to climb back into bed and pray it'd go away. 

Izuku was a little different though, he didn't know if he wanted to ignore it like Eijirou was. Whatever he felt he needed to see his face, to come to some sort of conclusion. 

So once he was out the door and near the school he watched through the crowd of students and classmates. Thinking of exactly when he usually turned the corner in the morning, he stood there nervously. 

It was always nice to see him, he was like a cup of coffee in the morning. Like the thing to get him going, what he liked to wake up to. 

He smiled with his bright sharp teeth and his annoying red hair glowing; and he didn't want to see him only because he was nice to him. He appreciated him as a person, because part of him knew nobody would ever be the same. 

Nobody would put him first, nobody would constantly be there. Nobody would just wait to spend time with him. 
Nobody would be so different, or stand out as much as he did. With the adorable way he talked about the things he liked, and how he was always annoyed with his hair. From his weird music taste to his oddly specific style, Izuku knew who he liked the most. 

"Deku." "What? Huh?" He jumped, stuttering when he turned around from his locker. "You're.. just staring at your lock." Katsuki started to laugh, "Oh! Uh, whoops.." he smiled. "Are you coming to lunch with me today?" Izuku wasn't sure of his friends, or if Ejirou was going to show up. "I don't know yet, I'll tell you later." he turned around to leave before he could kiss him. "O-Okay.."

He was unsure, he felt tired, and Eijirou not walking in made it worse. He hoped that maybe he just slept in and he'd come in soon, because otherwise it'd be a boring day. 
Of course he had Katsuki, but they weren't really friends beside their relationship. He made friends with a cocky group and boys who were just followers, it reminded him of something he didn't like to remember. 

As class started without Eijirou he had no choice but to pay attention. It was agonizing how much it changed, the room was quiet and nothing else seemed to matter when his favorite person was at home. 

Izuku leaned on the table, his sleeves were warm, and the lights didn't matter when he shut his eyes. 

He dozed off like it was nothing, and nobody else seemed to notice. 

Eijirou was next to him in a car, the surroundings dark and nice. The heat blasted with the silent music from the radio, he was driving and talking about something Izuku didn't comprehend, or remember. 

His mouth moved with no words coming out until the sun peaked out from the horizon. The orange and peach sunrise glowed over the grass on the lawn of an old apartment. Eijirou pulled into the driveway, stopping to say goodbye and pull away. 

A family member of his, maybe his dad knocked on the door. His face was a blur, but it was because the only thing that mattered was Eijirou. 

"I have to take the car with me." He mouthed. Izuku nodded, stretching and opening the door to step out onto his driveway. Eijirou didn't wave, his just glanced back with his cute confused expression. 

He pulled away, his house oddly close to Izuku's old one. It was just around the corner, so Izuku crossed his arms in Eijirou's red sweater. He walked slowly to follow the car with the family member running in front of it. 

The house was like a castle, Izuku watched as he walked inside. The street oddly crowded out of nowhere, he started to feel uncomfortable. 

The curtains that covered a too big of a window above the door slid open. Izuku climbed a staircase with a fountain and a brown bench behind it. 

Hiding his hands under his sleeve, he looked up to see Eijirou talking to somebody. Izuku was going to ask what they were talking about when he came back out. 

But it didn't matter. 

Eijirou turned around and spotted him sitting on the bench. And he smiled. He smiled brightly with his eyes squinting through the window.

Izuku's stomach flipped, he felt like everything just came crashing down. It was so unbelievably adorable that he couldn't think straight. 
Everything he loved about him came together in one expression, one sharp toothed grin. 

His hands started to shake as he looked up from the bench, and with that moment he realized. 

"Wake up, Deku-" Katsuki started to speak, Izuku tuned him out completely as his eyes went wide. He pushed back his messy hair and rolled up his sleeve, "I love him." He mouthed, his head pounding with his heart. 

He'd never felt something like that, it may have been only a stupid dream, but he's never looked at somebody the same. He's never thought about anybody's smile like that, and nobody's ever made his stomach turn with happiness. 

Izuku stood up, almost pushing Katsuki aside. "I can't go to lunch with you, I have something to do." his eyes were wide still, but a smile was planted on his face. He was so shocked, he didn't stop to process it as he grabbed his bag. 

Only one class had ended, still the crowd was nothing as he pushed everybody aside to run down the staircase. "I love him, I love him, I love him.." he repeated over and over. 

He smiled, squeaking weirdly with excitement as he ran past the entrance. The cold was nothing anymore, he didn't even bother with a jacket. His smile just got wider and wider as he cupped his face, closing his eyes until they teared up. 

[a/n: holy fuck I love this chapter. It may just be based on a dream I had about a girl I fell in love with- and she may not have given a fuck but I'd do anything for the feeling I had when I saw her smile in the dream]