The Scent Of Insanity [KiriDeku] (Vol.1)

Think About Something Else (17)

[krdks can have another chapter, as a treat]

"Are you okay?" The teacher asked, Eijirou nodded, forcing a smile and rubbing his chin. Izuku had tissue in his nose as he stumbled to try and reach him, the crowd departed. 
Eijirou backed away before he could put his hand on his shoulder, "You're alright?" Izuku said yes. "Fine." He turned around to start and walk away, "What? Wait! E-Eijirou!" Izuku stammered. "You're okay, that's good. I want to go home." "C-Can we talk?" He caught up with him. 

Eijirou stopped, he had an angry expression. "I really want to talk to you." He sighed, "What is it?" "I-I can't say it here. "Why not?" "I have a lot of things to say to you." Eijirou put his hands in his pockets, "I just got punched by your boyfriend, your nose is bleeding, it's not the right time." Izuku felt bad hearing that, he knew he wanted to avoid him. "I got punched too."
They stood in silence. 

 Eijirou smiled, chuckling, Izuku tilted his head, he didn't know what to say. Eijirou didn't know if he should've said yes, his heart was beating fast and he was scared of being alone with Izuku. "I'm not ready." "I-" Izuku shut his mouth, realizing what he said. "Whatever you have to say, I'm not ready." "Why?" 

He went silent for a moment, "I can't look at you." Izuku tapped his foot, he felt angry, "Why? I'm just not pretty? We can get it all out on the table." "You're gorgeous." 
They both looked away, hearts beating out of their chests. "You're gorgeous. But I don't know how I feel about you." He was about to continue walking, Izuku grabbed his wrist. His face still burning and his and his cheek still bruising. 

"You don't have to talk." "Why are you being so selfish?" He ripped his arm away from his, "I.." he couldn't come up with anything to say back. His mind rushed, his heart started to beat faster after it'd just calmed down, his stomach filled with butterflies from worms with what he just considered saying. 
"Do you hate me?" 
Eijirou sighed, turning around. 

The school was cleared up already, and he was alone with him, which scared him the most. Not because of having to talk to him, but because there were no other pretty faces, or people talking to distract him. All he could see, was somebody he felt like he'd never stop loving, and that made him sick. 

"I can't say what I'm thinking, it's hard to. It's complicated." He wanted to tell him everything, but everytime he opened his mouth to, his mind went blank. "Why can't we just go back to normal? We can be friends if we just talk!" "I want to, Izuku." 
"Then why not?" 

"I said, it's complicated." Izuku kept his mouth shut, his lips twisted into a frown and his eyes and nose started to sting. He put his hand over his eyes, Eijirou took a deep breath, reaching his hand out. Quiet sobs shook his shoulders, he wrapped his other arm around himself. "I-Izuku." His voice deepened, Eijirou was still a little angry, but part of him just wanted to hold him. 

The other part of him felt like he was being manipulated.  
He didn't trust him, after what Katsuki said, he didn't trust that he was going to be the only one. He didn't want to be with him, even if he could be. 

He was thinking of so many things at once, Izuku seemed so two faced, and he wanted to clear everything up. Even if he made it so hard to speak, all he wanted was to love him, and for him to love him back. But he'd do the same to him as he did to Katsuki, and he couldn't handle any more pain. 

"I'm going to get over you." Izuku looked down at his shoes, head pounding after he heard that; regretting every choice he'd made so far. He regretted singling Eijirou out, he regretted ever dating Katsuki, he regretted ever meeting Eijirou too. 
"That's what's best for us, and even if part of you really cares about me.. like I do you. Then you need to get over it." 

"I don't want to." Izuku squeaked, he couldn't look him in the eye. "Please don't be selfish." "I have a right to feelings too, bastard!" He pushed his shoulder, wiping his tears afterwards. 
He hiccuped and tried not to cry anymore than he already had, "Fuck this. Fine. I'm going home." He crossed his arms, gritting his teeth. 
"I just want to talk to you, why are you making everything so complicated?" "It's not my fault!" His mouth hung open with shock, he was almost offended. 

"You want to fight with me? You just want to keep hurting me, yeah? Why don't you just punch me, like he did." Izuku was tired of not being allowed to be hurt, he felt bad for feeling bad and it was breaking him. 

"I don't want to hurt you." He waved his arm around, "So why don't you stop?" He growled, "I'm walking on eggshells here! I don't know what hurts you!" "We'll let's start with ignoring my feelings." Izuku flinched, "Or maybe, making me watch you love somebody that wasn't me." He was far too angry to cry. 

"What about me wasn't loveable?" Izuku was stuck in the same mindset, when he was hardly out of it for a second. "I helped you, I was there for you. I went out of my way, just so I could see you smile." His voice cracked as he started to yell. "I-It's what friends do.." "Not the kisses, not the counseling." He felt better as he got it all out, he was holding it in for so long. But he was scared that he was starting to hate him. 

"Have you ever even seen the way I look at you?" Izuku didn't know whether to feel flattered, embarrassed, or sad. "But you chose him over me. So I guess you've never seen mine let alone any love." "You could've told me." 

"I did. But you still need more time, huh?" "We were so good as friends." He sniffled, he was too cold to be able to think. "Why did I ever like you?" Everything he thought, he was forgetting, he at least wanted to be friends, but he was too hurt.
"I'm sorry, okay? I've been trying to think of ways to make it up to you." "I don't know if you can." 

"I love you." He whispered, and it was quiet enough to hear a pin drop after he did.