loving the moon. ⇏ hwabyul ✅

V

friday, june 8 - saturday, june 9

saturday, june 9 - thursday, july 3

byul pulled back. 

"what the fuck hyejin?" 

"i-i'm sorry, i thought-"

"you thought wrong." 

and with that, she ran back to our house. 

i walked back to my house slowly. my thoughts ran wild. is she that mad? why did i have to ruin our growing friendship like this? i didn't want this to happen. the one time i make a friend, i have to mess it up like that. 

i got to my house faster than i wanted to. i opened the door and my mom was waiting for me, sitting on the couch. 

"hyejin, what happened with you and byul?" 

"nothing mom. we're fine" 

"no no, don't give me any of that 'nothing mom' because i know there is something going on. what happened? you know you can tell me anything baby. come here," she motioned for me to come to sit by her, "talk to me." 

i started crying the moment i sat down. "i'm gay mom." 

"oh. hyejin i already knew. i could tell. i was just waiting for you to figure it out on your own. that is, if you ever did.  since when did you find out baby?"

"since i was thirteen. i was so scared to tell you because i was afraid that you wouldn't accept me or kick me out or something. i was so scared that you wouldn't like me after i told you, so i never told you. i'm sorry."

"oh, hyejin. i don't hate you, honey. you could've told me sooner, i wouldn't have kicked you out or whatever nonsense you're talking about. i'm glad you at least told me now. you don't have to keep this big secret anymore. i love you no matter what baby." she wrapped me up in the biggest hug she's given me since that day. 

i cried my eyes out. i'm so glad to get this off of my chest. i can't believe i just came out to my mom.

"so, are you gonna tell me what happened with byul?" she asked me, pulling back from the hug she was giving me.

"i kissed her. and she freaked out and ran back home. she yelled at me too." 

"oh hyejin, i'm so sorry honey. why don't you try to go talk to her?" 

"i don't think she wants to talk to me but i'll go try."

"good luck," she said, giving me a squeeze as i got up.

i headed up the stairs and knocked on the door. "byul? are you okay?" she didn't answer. 

i opened the door anyway and took a glance around the room. she wasn't there. i checked in the closet and sure enough, there sat byul, asleep. 

i recall once, byul told me that she was a deep sleeper and that someone had to personally wake her up and not an alarm clock because those didn't wake her up. i picked her up and laid her down in the bed. i tucked the blankets around her and got in next to her. i turned the lamp off, but before that, gave her a kiss on the forehead. 

__________________________________________________________________________

i woke up the next morning and byul was still asleep. i got out of bed and thought over the things that happened last night. wow, what a night. i got up and took a shower. i sat in there for a while, lost in thought. what will she say when she wakes up? is she still mad? 

i can't believe i did that. when was the last time i kissed a girl? back in 8th grade when i found out i was gay. back then i had a friend named hyeri. at least i thought she was my friend. let me tell you a little story.