loving the moon. ⇏ hwabyul ✅

VII

saturday, july 5 

21 days till byul comes back

i woke up and byul was up already. she wasn't in the room though. i got up instantly and knocked on the closet. "byul? are you in there?" no answer. 

then i saw the sticky note on the nightstand. 

hey, check your phone hye

~byul~

-------------2 new messages-------------

byulie💕: hey, my parents woke me up early this morning..we're going away for a while. i've already taken a leave from the school apparently. i can't say where i'm going though..my parents want it to be a secret. 

byulie💕: i'm sorry hye.

i called her right away. 

calling byulie💕...

"hello?"

"hey, sorry i called, i was just worried about you." 

"didn't you read my text messages?"

"uh, yeah, i guess i really just needed to hear your voice. i got used to it i guess.." 

"i miss you too if that's what you're trying to say" 

"uh, yeah, i- yeah"

"listen i have to go, my parents are calling. i'll talk to you when i get back okay?"

"when will that be?"

"couple of weeks, i don't know what we're doing but it sounds interesting. bye hye" 

"bye.." 

call ended

a couple of weeks? what is she doing? 

i walked downstairs. my mom was up now, watching tv. "hey honey. did byul tell you she's leaving for a while?"

"yeah. i called her earlier," i sat down next to her and turned to look at her, "mom?" 

"yes?" she turned to look at me as well. 

"can you help me?" i said, fidgeting.

"help you with what, baby?"

"with my emotions and feelings. i don't know what's gotten into me lately."

"well, explain to me what's going on, maybe i can help," she said, turning off the tv.

"well, um, lately i feel like i want to be around byul all the time. i feel like if i separate from her, something is gonna happen. every time i wake up, she's there. every time i go to school, she's there. and i've gotten so used to having her by my side that it feels weird to be separated from her now. every time she laughs, i feel like my heart does this flippy thingy where i can't think straight. every time i comfort her or she to me, i feel safe. i feel like i can tell her anything."

she sighed. "hyejin." 

"yes?"

"it sounds to me, like someone's got a crush."

i choked on air. " whAt? no, i've only known her for like a couple of months." 

"hyejin. this is exactly what happened with me and your father. i mean, we certainly didn't live together, but we were by each other's sides all of the time. your father was my best friend and i needed him by my side all of the time. i thought it was only because i needed company, but later i found out, by myself, that it was love. i wanted to spend every moment with him and when we went our separate ways, it killed me. i wished he was there. and by the time he got with someone else, it was already too late to tell him my true feelings."

"wait, dad dated someone else before you?" 

"well obviously child! let me finish! anyway, a few weeks after him and his girlfriend ended, i decided to tell him how i felt. he rejected me, but a year later, he came back. of course, i still loved him. that's when we got together and we've been together ever since," she turned and smiled at the picture on the mantle of my father. 

"could i really be in love with byul though?" i asked. 

"well honey, when i started to fall for you're dad i was in denial. i thought, well of all people, why him? it couldn't be. i started to think that it was just an attraction. that it was just a temporary thing and that it would go away. but, to my very lucky surprise, it wasn't. i decided to accept it after a couple of months. for you hyejin, i think it'll take a little less while to figure it out for yourself. you'll know when it's true. please, make the move when you know because you probably won't get a second chance again." 

"thank you, mom," i said, embracing her, "i love you so much." 

"i love you too." 

i went back upstairs and thought about what we discussed. 

could i really like byul? in that way? i've never actually dated someone. this is so scary.

you're fine hyejin. let's think about this. the time me and byul went to that party was a few months ago. what happened at that party again?

we were playing the spin the bottle/truth or dare game and i was dared to kiss byul. i chickened out and she got mad. i got drunk, she got mad. i kiSSED her, she also got very mad. ugh, what do i do? it seems like whenever i express myself, she gets mad. 

whatever. when she gets back, i'll tell her. wait. i'll give it away in small hints. i need to form a plan. 

wow. i never thought i would actually like byul. i mean, yes i like her as a friend, a best friend even, but a girlfriend? how will it go? what if she says no? 

i started breathing heavily, worrying about everything i'm going to do. i took deep breaths. hyejin, don't have a panic attack now. it is nothing. literally calm down. 

my breathing subsided. that was the very first time i ever took control of a panic attack. 

i got to work immediately, thinking of ways on how to tell her for the next 3 weeks, writing down every idea i got. eventually, i sorted out the ideas on my paper and made the perfect plan. 

this is gonna be fun.

_______________________________________________________________

hello!! i'm guessing you're noticing that i'm updating often? well, i am! other than quarantine being a bitch, it gives me time to write chapters for you! this chapter is alsoo sort of a filler or something like that. 

!!!IMPORTANT!!!

!!!for the next 20 chapters (literally) it will be just byul and hyejin's texts for hyejin's plan!!!

as always, thank you sm for reading luvs <3 

~mariza:)