885 Days [A Vikklan/Sidemen/Pack Story]

Day 30: Mitch

22 April 2015

I didn't cry. I think it was disbelief in the beginning, it seemed completely surreal that Lachlan, only 19 years old and so independent and happy, was missing. We got flights as soon as we could but unfortunately the earliest one was almost a week out from when we first got the news. We had only just arrived back home too, from the Ireland trip, and getting another visa was a nightmare. Jerome did his best to comfort me but he was worked up enough of his own that he just couldn't. He had several panic attacks, imagination running wild. There were so many uncertainties, so many things wrong.

We landed and took a taxi to Vikk's house, where he lived with some of the other Sidemen. Apparently all of them were living there for now, in too much shock to go home. Preston and Rob wouldn't be arriving on the same day, not until tomorrow, so for now it was just us.

Josh opened the door and greeted us quietly, his face pinched. I saw why almost at once. There were posters, hundreds and hundreds of them, covering the floor of the living room- which we could see from the front door- and every single one of them was a missing poster with Lachlan's face on it. That was the first time I verged on bursting into tears and Jerome pulled me away, looking to be feeling exactly the same.

Following Josh upstairs he led up to Vikk's bedroom, where he, Tobi and Harry were gathered on our friends bed. Vikk barely reacted to our arrival, watching our approach with a blank stare, and he didn't even greet us until Tobi nudged him. Harry was actually asleep, curled up in a ball.

"Hey Vikky..." I whispered, crawling onto the bed beside him. Jerome followed and although it took him a moment, once it clicked that we were there he launched himself into my arms and buried himself there, hiccupping painfully. We sat there, holding him while he cried and tears dripped silently down my own face, and it was painful to know exactly what brought us here. Our friend was missing and we didn't know what had happened to him, if he was even still with us. As each minute, hour, day ticked by, it seemed less and less likely.

Eventually Vikk sat back and wiped his eyes. He looked exhausted, dishevelled and scared but he was still Vikk and there was some little gleam of hope.

"Hi." He said in a pitifully quiet voice, glancing between Jerome and I.

"Hey Vikk." Jerome whispered, giving him another quick hug. We lapsed into silence. There wasn't much more to say.

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It was strange being there in that house, after all the trips we had taken together. The time in Canada together, our first ski trip, the trip to Ireland that wrapped up mere days before he flew to England with Vikk. And then everything fell apart. My heart panged and god, I just wished it hadn't panned out this way.

Due to the size of the house Simon had moved in with JJ, leaving Preston and Rob his room while Jerome and I stayed in the guest room. But the thing that got me was Vikk's room. When I saw his suitcase on the floor, open and strewn with his belongings, I couldn't help but break down. Neither Jerome or I slept much those first few nights, not when his scent lingered and his presence haunted me.

We came to an almost undiscussed disagreement that we would film a video and we would upload it on all of our channels, unedited. Tobi was helping us film it, setting up a camera in Vikk's room so we could all fit in frame sitting on his bed and talk. Vikk's eyes were still red and his shoulders were shaking, but he managed to remain strong throughout. He leaned against Rob, trying to keep his breathing even.

"Hey guys." Preston started, trying to keep to the script. "If you can't tell, we're missing someone."

"We'll try and keep it short because it's very difficult to speak about but basically" Jerome swallowed, tapping his foot. "Lachlan went missing. He and Vikk were out at a bar with some of the other Sidemen and the surveillance footage shows that he went off with an older man. His phone was completely smashed. We... god..."

He gulped and couldn't continue any further, so I took over. Vikk and Rob simply couldn't speak, couldn't utter a single word.

"He was abducted. We aren't sure but there's potential his drink was spiked. The police are investigating." My fingers were shaking and I had to wring my hands to calm myself. "This happened over a week ago, and there's been no developments. We're so scared, no one knows where he is or if he's okay and that's why this video is being made. We need your help. If anyone knows anything, please contact the police. There's a phone number and a case number, so please, if you know anything or anyone who might know anything, report it. Our best friend is missing. He's only 19, please."

Vikk finally spoke, his voice trembling.

"Please. I only want Lachlan home again. Lachlan, if you somehow see this, please." He begged. "Come home. We're doing everything we can, the police are investigating, we want you home. We love you."

The video was posted later that day and the only change we made was a scan of the missing poster that stayed on screen for almost 30 seconds. We shut down all our social media, our phones and our computers and the group of us curled up on Vikk's bed, which was far too small for us, to try and sleep. It didn't really work, but knowing that the other boys were all there, curled up around me, was comforting.

But of course, there was the constant, ever crushing reminder of the missing boy, and it was terrifying.

"Please..." I whispered into the dark. "Come home Lachlan..."

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We were only able to stay for three weeks because after that our visa ran out and we had to go back home. It was heart-breaking to have to leave Vikk behind- Rob could stay for a little longer, but Jerome, Preston and I had to go- but Tobi promised he would look after our younger friend, and that he hoped to see us very soon. Hugging Vikk goodbye was painful but we all whispered little promises to him, that we would be back soon, that we loved him and that we promised it would all be okay.

The flight back home felt like I was abandoning Vikk and everything we had to do there so I didn't sleep because of it, sitting up and staring out the window while Jerome slept fitfully on my shoulder. I couldn't stop my thoughts running wild, all the possibilities, where Lachlan could possibly be. If he was okay, I didn't know. I wanted him to be okay.

14... 21... 28: Lachlan

The first time I saw him I thought he was my saviour, come to rescue me. That... wasn't the case. I found out very suddenly that maybe the dark, the scary, frightening dark, was better than what happened whenever he entered the room. The only thing I was somewhat grateful for was the presence of food and water, but I think I would have preferred starvation to this. It was what caused the nightmares.

The first... month? Month, month, was difficult. After that silent, terrifying week it was pain. Only pain. There were heavy chains around my wrists now, preventing me from moving even if I wanted. Other than that, it was cold concrete and pain. He made me feel like an animal, beating me, demeaning me, calling me anything but my name. My body trembled.

I only wished that they would find me. To keep myself occupied I thought of Vikk and the Pack, the time we spent together, the fun times we had had. I had glanced Vikk before he had taken my arm and led me away, talking to Tobi, and now that moment was seared into my brain. Why hadn't I called out? Why hadn't I pulled away from him and walked over there? I shivered and closed my eyes- please, find me, I begged. Find me.